0:00:00.080,0:00:06.000
are you constantly pouring into others
0:00:02.840,0:00:08.960
but feeling empty yourself it’s time to
0:00:06.000,0:00:10.759
revolutionize your approach to self-care
0:00:08.960,0:00:13.320
hello and welcome back today we’re
0:00:10.759,0:00:17.640
diving deep into self-care or what
0:00:13.320,0:00:19.640
Deborah F affectionately calls Soul Care
0:00:17.640,0:00:21.640
the term Soul Care might have you
0:00:19.640,0:00:23.880
scratching your head a bit but stick
0:00:21.640,0:00:27.320
with me as we explore the path to living
0:00:23.880,0:00:29.560
a full life prior to this episode you’ve
0:00:27.320,0:00:31.720
probably heard the term self-care but
0:00:29.560,0:00:34.480
let’s take it a step further Let’s Talk
0:00:31.720,0:00:36.559
About Soul Care what if I told you that
0:00:34.480,0:00:39.079
by nurturing your soul you could
0:00:36.559,0:00:41.360
transform your life and
0:00:39.079,0:00:43.680
relationships in this episode we’ll
0:00:41.360,0:00:46.199
explore why so many of us struggle with
0:00:43.680,0:00:48.199
feeling drained we’ll discuss how to
0:00:46.199,0:00:51.120
identify the root causes of our
0:00:48.199,0:00:53.879
emptiness and we’ll look at how to fill
0:00:51.120,0:00:55.920
ourselves up so we can truly give to
0:00:53.879,0:00:58.760
others whether you’re feeling
0:00:55.920,0:01:01.280
overwhelmed guilty about taking time for
0:00:58.760,0:01:04.320
yourself or just curious about living a
0:01:01.280,0:01:08.680
more fulfilled life this episode is for
0:01:04.320,0:01:10.560
you practicing Soul Care Deborah begins
0:01:08.680,0:01:14.640
this chapter with the following
0:01:10.560,0:01:17.960
questions one what fills you up two how
0:01:14.640,0:01:20.400
full do you feel in this moment the
0:01:17.960,0:01:22.640
answers to these questions paints a
0:01:20.400,0:01:25.320
clear picture of what it looks like to
0:01:22.640,0:01:27.880
practice what Deborah feta calls Soul
0:01:25.320,0:01:30.439
Care all right let’s talk about mine’s
0:01:27.880,0:01:32.439
story Deborah F start starts this
0:01:30.439,0:01:35.079
chapter with a few questions and then
0:01:32.439,0:01:38.799
leads into a story about a client that
0:01:35.079,0:01:41.920
she refers to as meline now meline just
0:01:38.799,0:01:44.520
for context meline is a woman in her 30s
0:01:41.920,0:01:47.119
feeling empty stuck and drained from
0:01:44.520,0:01:49.040
always caring for other people Deborah
0:01:47.119,0:01:52.040
describes that through a series of
0:01:49.040,0:01:54.759
sessions they got to the root of why
0:01:52.040,0:01:56.880
meline always takes on this role in
0:01:54.759,0:01:59.680
these sessions they discovered some
0:01:56.880,0:02:01.840
childhood patterns and beliefs now one
0:01:59.680,0:02:04.079
of of these was that she was always
0:02:01.840,0:02:06.280
trying to fix everything for her
0:02:04.079,0:02:09.200
struggling parents who couldn’t get
0:02:06.280,0:02:11.520
along they ultimately discovered that
0:02:09.200,0:02:14.560
meline was still trying to fix
0:02:11.520,0:02:17.480
everything for fear of being alone
0:02:14.560,0:02:20.400
mateline ultimately realized her need
0:02:17.480,0:02:21.920
for change from the inside out all right
0:02:20.400,0:02:24.280
let’s talk about the meaning of
0:02:21.920,0:02:26.080
self-care uh just to frame our
0:02:24.280,0:02:28.440
discussion I went out and got three
0:02:26.080,0:02:30.920
different definitions from different
0:02:28.440,0:02:33.560
sources to help us better understand
0:02:30.920,0:02:35.000
this topic the first one it comes from
0:02:33.560,0:02:36.800
very well health and it says that
0:02:35.000,0:02:39.480
self-care is the practice of taking care
0:02:36.800,0:02:41.800
of physical mental emotional and
0:02:39.480,0:02:43.400
spiritual aspects of your life to
0:02:41.800,0:02:46.000
promote health and
0:02:43.400,0:02:48.000
wellness the second one is from the
0:02:46.000,0:02:49.879
National Institute of Mental Health and
0:02:48.000,0:02:52.480
they say that self-care is taking the
0:02:49.879,0:02:54.000
time to do the things that help you live
0:02:52.480,0:02:56.800
well and
0:02:54.000,0:03:00.040
improve both your physical and mental
0:02:56.800,0:03:02.239
health the third one is from two authors
0:03:00.040,0:03:03.879
and it’s Levan and idler and they say
0:03:02.239,0:03:06.640
that self-care is defined as the
0:03:03.879,0:03:08.799
activities that individuals undertake to
0:03:06.640,0:03:11.400
improve or restore their own
0:03:08.799,0:03:14.920
health so now that we have a good
0:03:11.400,0:03:17.400
foundation of the term self-care let’s
0:03:14.920,0:03:20.200
dive into some of the topics Deborah
0:03:17.400,0:03:23.159
talks about in the book the first one is
0:03:20.200,0:03:25.159
this term self-care now be honest with
0:03:23.159,0:03:28.080
yourself when I started talking about
0:03:25.159,0:03:30.599
selfcare what was your first initial
0:03:28.080,0:03:33.640
reaction was it positive or
0:03:30.599,0:03:36.799
negative now this answer is important
0:03:33.640,0:03:39.280
because it could reveal some underlying
0:03:36.799,0:03:43.200
beliefs about the term
0:03:39.280,0:03:46.599
self-care many people subconsciously
0:03:43.200,0:03:49.519
believe that self-care is being
0:03:46.599,0:03:52.480
selfish next Deborah talks about
0:03:49.519,0:03:55.799
reframing the term self-care as what she
0:03:52.480,0:03:58.720
calls Soul Care or caring for
0:03:55.799,0:04:01.040
yourself the necessity of being full
0:03:58.720,0:04:03.079
Deborah begins this part of the chapter
0:04:01.040,0:04:06.000
saying you cannot give what you don’t
0:04:03.079,0:04:07.720
have for yourself at overflow we
0:04:06.000,0:04:10.640
wholeheartedly agree with this statement
0:04:07.720,0:04:14.280
and I’ll tell you why service is one of
0:04:10.640,0:04:16.239
our core values we believe that a
0:04:14.280,0:04:17.600
central part of the healing process is
0:04:16.239,0:04:20.600
in serving
0:04:17.600,0:04:22.520
others we also believe that we’re not
0:04:20.600,0:04:24.800
here merely for our own interest but
0:04:22.520,0:04:26.440
also to serve one another we’ve seen
0:04:24.800,0:04:28.840
that in helping other people in their
0:04:26.440,0:04:30.360
Journey with brain health it often will
0:04:28.840,0:04:33.560
take your focus
0:04:30.360,0:04:35.440
off of your own issues we also believe
0:04:33.560,0:04:38.880
in service because we’ve seen how it
0:04:35.440,0:04:41.520
provides a sense of purpose it improves
0:04:38.880,0:04:44.280
physical and brain health it helps
0:04:41.520,0:04:48.199
establish new relationships it deepens
0:04:44.280,0:04:50.800
one’s faith and it teaches valuable
0:04:48.199,0:04:54.000
skills you know when people are praying
0:04:50.800,0:04:57.320
for brain health issues to Simply go
0:04:54.000,0:05:00.240
away or praying for Relief they will
0:04:57.320,0:05:02.600
often ask a whole bunch of questions
0:05:00.240,0:05:04.720
that are really difficult to answer and
0:05:02.600,0:05:06.919
while I would love to provide a simple
0:05:04.720,0:05:10.800
answer that this is the three steps or
0:05:06.919,0:05:12.639
the three reasons why God doesn’t answer
0:05:10.800,0:05:17.080
these prayers and these situations I
0:05:12.639,0:05:20.520
can’t what I can do is provide a quote
0:05:17.080,0:05:24.280
by Craig Rochelle that directly speaks
0:05:20.520,0:05:27.120
to this these questions and it says it’s
0:05:24.280,0:05:30.319
through helping others that God often
0:05:27.120,0:05:32.800
heals you so
0:05:30.319,0:05:35.319
when we say that we agree with that you
0:05:32.800,0:05:39.039
cannot give what you don’t have for
0:05:35.319,0:05:41.039
yourself it has a deeper meaning because
0:05:39.039,0:05:44.319
we believe that it’s through serving
0:05:41.039,0:05:47.319
other people that you will often find
0:05:44.319,0:05:50.840
healing for your brain health issues and
0:05:47.319,0:05:54.759
if you are running on empty you will not
0:05:50.840,0:05:58.560
have what you need to serve other people
0:05:54.759,0:06:00.520
and thus this will inhibit your ability
0:05:58.560,0:06:04.800
to find Healing
0:06:00.520,0:06:06.520
now in the book Deborah quotes the verse
0:06:04.800,0:06:08.840
Matthew
0:06:06.520,0:06:11.000
2239 and that’s the love your neighbor
0:06:08.840,0:06:13.599
as yourself verse but I want to go a
0:06:11.000,0:06:17.560
little bit deeper and look at um a few
0:06:13.599,0:06:21.000
verses before that and that’s Matthew 22
0:06:17.560,0:06:23.000
37-39 in the NLT it says Jesus replied
0:06:21.000,0:06:24.759
you must love the Lord your God with all
0:06:23.000,0:06:27.120
your heart all your soul and all your
0:06:24.759,0:06:29.599
mind this is the first and greatest
0:06:27.120,0:06:31.800
commandment a second is equally
0:06:29.599,0:06:34.360
important love your neighbor as
0:06:31.800,0:06:37.960
yourself now Deborah goes into great
0:06:34.360,0:06:39.880
detail talking about how in this text it
0:06:37.960,0:06:42.639
could say love your neighbor not
0:06:39.880,0:06:45.039
yourself or a whole bunch of different
0:06:42.639,0:06:47.840
variations it specifically says love
0:06:45.039,0:06:50.880
your neighbor as yourself meaning that
0:06:47.840,0:06:53.199
we need to love
0:06:50.880,0:06:55.280
ourselves you know if you look in the
0:06:53.199,0:06:57.960
Bible and study the Bible and read
0:06:55.280,0:07:00.039
passages and stories about Jesus you
0:06:57.960,0:07:03.080
will see that he also
0:07:00.039,0:07:05.919
modeled Soul Care practices and we’ll
0:07:03.080,0:07:08.440
dive into those here in a moment I want
0:07:05.919,0:07:11.120
to read a few quotes from De because I
0:07:08.440,0:07:12.879
believe they are very valuable in
0:07:11.120,0:07:15.479
framing the end of this part of our
0:07:12.879,0:07:17.039
discussion she says that when you’re
0:07:15.479,0:07:19.879
when you’re caring for yourself you’re
0:07:17.039,0:07:21.199
caring for your soul and when you stop
0:07:19.879,0:07:23.280
caring for
0:07:21.199,0:07:26.360
yourselves when we stop caring for
0:07:23.280,0:07:28.960
ourselves we become empty and you can’t
0:07:26.360,0:07:30.520
give to others what you don’t have for
0:07:28.960,0:07:33.800
yourself
0:07:30.520,0:07:36.560
Jesus’s examples of Soul Care the first
0:07:33.800,0:07:39.919
one is setting boundaries and alone time
0:07:36.560,0:07:42.680
and this is in Luke
0:07:39.919,0:07:45.479
54-16 the next one was resting and that
0:07:42.680,0:07:48.960
is in Mark 63
0:07:45.479,0:07:51.440
30-32 and napping Mark
0:07:48.960,0:07:54.159
4:38 uh next would be nourishing his
0:07:51.440,0:07:58.000
body Matthew
0:07:54.159,0:08:01.960
119 celebrating Luke 22
0:07:58.000,0:08:06.879
7-8 priority prizing friends John
0:08:01.960,0:08:10.720
13:23 prayer Mark 135 and
0:08:06.879,0:08:14.280
646 so we can see just in these listed
0:08:10.720,0:08:18.639
examples how Jesus was practicing Soul
0:08:14.280,0:08:20.360
Care and this was so that Jesus could be
0:08:18.639,0:08:23.319
effective in his
0:08:20.360,0:08:25.599
ministry living on fullness not
0:08:23.319,0:08:29.199
emptiness now you may have heard the
0:08:25.599,0:08:31.599
phrase living on E or living on empty
0:08:29.199,0:08:33.719
and I believe that’s where Deborah is
0:08:31.599,0:08:37.599
referring to when she’s talking about
0:08:33.719,0:08:40.959
living on fullness you see Jesus lived
0:08:37.599,0:08:43.719
from God’s fullness not self-
0:08:40.959,0:08:46.000
emptiness through those examples that
0:08:43.719,0:08:49.880
provided in the previous section you
0:08:46.000,0:08:52.560
could see the practices that Jesus did
0:08:49.880,0:08:55.320
to make sure that he was living on God’s
0:08:52.560,0:08:57.640
fullness it’s important as individuals
0:08:55.320,0:08:59.640
that we take inventory of caring for
0:08:57.640,0:09:02.360
ourselves
0:08:59.640,0:09:05.040
if we’re struggling with practicing
0:09:02.360,0:09:07.279
self-care or Soul Care it’s important
0:09:05.040,0:09:10.560
that we understand why we need to get to
0:09:07.279,0:09:13.640
the roots of any underlying beliefs that
0:09:10.560,0:09:16.519
are preventing us from practicing
0:09:13.640,0:09:18.480
self-care verse for reflection it’s
0:09:16.519,0:09:20.839
Matthew 22
0:09:18.480,0:09:23.839
37-39 I’ll be reading from the New
0:09:20.839,0:09:25.640
Living Translation it says Jesus replied
0:09:23.839,0:09:27.360
you must love the Lord your God with all
0:09:25.640,0:09:30.120
your heart all your soul and all your
0:09:27.360,0:09:32.640
mind this is the first and greatest
0:09:30.120,0:09:35.600
commandment a second is equally
0:09:32.640,0:09:39.480
important love your neighbor as
0:09:35.600,0:09:41.360
yourself let’s review we explored why so
0:09:39.480,0:09:44.079
many of us feel drained and this is for
0:09:41.360,0:09:46.600
two reasons a many of us are living from
0:09:44.079,0:09:50.279
The Emptiness of self rather than from
0:09:46.600,0:09:51.959
the fullness of God B we often struggle
0:09:50.279,0:09:55.360
with practicing Soul
0:09:51.959,0:09:57.480
Care we all also explored how to
0:09:55.360,0:10:00.200
identify the root causes of our
0:09:57.480,0:10:02.040
emptiness we discuss look for patterns
0:10:00.200,0:10:04.640
and beliefs that are limiting our
0:10:02.040,0:10:07.079
ability to practice self-care which is
0:10:04.640,0:10:11.720
causing us to operate from The Emptiness
0:10:07.079,0:10:14.800
of self third we explored how to fill
0:10:11.720,0:10:17.279
ourselves up so we can give to others we
0:10:14.800,0:10:20.040
talked about how through serving other
0:10:17.279,0:10:21.480
people we will often fight the healing
0:10:20.040,0:10:24.519
that we are searching
0:10:21.480,0:10:27.839
for in order to understand what fills us
0:10:24.519,0:10:30.519
up we look to two question we ask the
0:10:27.839,0:10:32.440
question what fills me up and also how
0:10:30.519,0:10:35.079
full am I feeling in this
0:10:32.440,0:10:37.519
moment now if you struggle to practice
0:10:35.079,0:10:40.279
self-care I encourage you to go back and
0:10:37.519,0:10:43.079
look at the examples of Jesus in the
0:10:40.279,0:10:43.079
Bible