The Deep End

The Deep End

Episode: 050

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The Deep End

When it comes to emotional interactions and discussions, we all have different abilities. Some people won’t go near emotional topics, while others seem to gravitate towards them.

I have always been great at going deep when it comes to emotions.

Emotions

In her book Reset, Debra Fileta talks about using the concept of levels of conversation to help illustrate emotional interaction and expression.

3 Levels of Conversation

  1. Facts
  2. Opinions and Ideas
  3. Feelings

Facts – 1st level, superficial, easy to talk about
Opinions and ideas – these take you deeper but keep you close to the shallow end.
Feelings – these are the deepest, most vulnerable parts when it comes to a conversation.

“Just like swimming in a pool, we’ve got to practice going deep with our emotions to get better at feeling, understanding, and expressing them. It’s not something you’re born knowing how to do; it’s something you have to learn along the way.” Debra Fileta

The Deep End

Exploring feelings and going deep is more difficult for some than others.

It often depends on a person’s experience.

  1. You could have been brought up in an environment where feelings weren’t welcome. So you learned to stuff your emotions. Maybe showing emotions was portrayed as weak.
  2. Perhaps you were exposed to deep trauma, abuse, dysfunction, or violence.

If we don’t take the time to check in with how we’re feeling, those emotions will eventually bubble up to the surface.

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.”

Proverbs 20-5

While it can be incredibly difficult to do the work and explore those emotions, it’s essential for us to do two things so we can heal.

We must:
Face them
Deal with them

This is what being a person of insight is all about. We need to take the time and do the work so we know what is going on deep inside ourselves.

Debra says that we need to “…say goodbye to the floaties in the shallow end. Because were about to learn how to swim.”

Verse For Reflection

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

Source

[1] Fileta, D. (2023). Reset. Harvest House Publishers.

Transcript

0:00:00.240,0:00:07.080
welcome to the Overflow podcast my name is Craig
Booker the title of this episode is the deep end

0:00:07.080,0:00:12.800
the material in this episode is inspired by
reset by Deborah feda I will talk a lot about

0:00:12.800,0:00:18.160
mental health but please note that this is not
a substitute for therapy or mental health care

0:00:18.160,0:00:23.400
when it comes to emotional interactions and
discussions we all have different abilities

0:00:23.400,0:00:30.080
some people won’t go near emotional topics
While others seem to gravitate towards them in

0:00:30.080,0:00:36.520
her book reset Deborah feta talks about using
the concept of levels of conversation to help

0:00:36.520,0:00:44.760
illustrate emotional interaction and expression
she defines three levels of conversation number

0:00:44.760,0:00:54.240
one is facts two is opinions and ideas three
is feelings so number one facts first level

0:00:54.240,0:01:00.920
superficial easy to talk about number two is
opinions and ideas these take you deep but keep

0:01:00.920,0:01:07.320
you close to the shallow end and number three is
feelings these are the deepest most vulnerable

0:01:07.320,0:01:13.120
Parts when it comes to a conversation just like
swimming in a swimming pool we’ve got to practice

0:01:13.120,0:01:19.200
going deep with our emotions to get better at
feeling understanding and expressing them it’s

0:01:19.200,0:01:25.800
not something you’re born knowing how to do it’s
something you have to learn along the way Deborah

0:01:25.800,0:01:34.960
Fela the Deep Bend exploring feelings going deep
is more difficult for some than others it often

0:01:34.960,0:01:40.440
depends on a person’s experience first off uh
you could have been brought up in an environment

0:01:40.440,0:01:46.160
where feelings weren’t welcome so you learned
to stuff your emotions maybe showing emotions

0:01:46.160,0:01:53.400
was portrayed as weak uh second perhaps you
were exposed to deep trauma abuse dysfunction

0:01:53.400,0:02:00.280
or violence if we don’t take the time to check
in with how we’re feeling those emotions will

0:02:00.280,0:02:08.840
eventually bubble up to the surface Proverbs
20: 5 says the purposes of a person’s heart

0:02:08.840,0:02:16.000
are deep Waters but one who has Insight draws
them out while it can be incredibly difficult

0:02:16.000,0:02:21.360
to do the work and explore emotions it is
essential for us to learn to face them and

0:02:21.360,0:02:27.320
deal with them so we can properly heal this is
what being a person of insight is all about we

0:02:27.320,0:02:33.960
need to take the time and do the work so we
know what is going on deep inside ourselves

0:02:33.960,0:02:38.640
Deborah says that we need to say goodbye to the
floaties and the shallow in because we’re about

0:02:38.640,0:02:46.200
to learn how to swim verse for reflection the
purposes of a person’s heart are deep Waters

0:02:46.200,0:02:55.280
but one who has Insight draws them out Proverbs
20:5 that’s all for this episode if you like the

0:02:55.280,0:03:00.880
video please give us a thumbs up and be sure to
subscribe so you don’t miss out on future episodes

Show Notes

Episode Description

In this episode, we discuss the chapter The Deep End. This is part of a study inspired by Reset – Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life by Debra Fileta. We take concepts from the book each week and apply them to brain health.

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Last updated on: 02/10/2024

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