Old Tools

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Hello, and welcome to The Overflow Podcast. My
name is Craig Booker.

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The title of this episode is Old Tools.

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The material in this episode is inspired by Seen by Will Hutcherson & Chinwé Williams.

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Note: I will talk a lot about mental
health, but please note this is not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.

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The title of this episode is Old
Tools. We’re starting a new study on the

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book Seen – Healing Despair and Anxiety in Kids and Through the Power of

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connection. In the book, Will opens with a

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story about one of what he calls his top students or his favorite students, Tyler.

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And he says you know, he goes on saying

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you’re not really supposed to have
favorites, but he really enjoyed spending

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time with this student named Tyler. And
so Tyler was a 17-year-old student who

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he described as funny respectful and

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he described as funny respectful and
smart and it appeared as if Tyler had it

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smart and it appeared as if Tyler had it

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smart and it appeared as if Tyler had it
all together together on the inside

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all together together on the inside

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all together together on the inside
Tyler was struggling with despair will

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Tyler was struggling with despair will

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Tyler was struggling with despair will
says he shared with me the struggle he

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says he shared with me the struggle he

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says he shared with me the struggle he
had to get out of bed some mornings

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had to get out of bed some mornings

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had to get out of bed some mornings
despite loving the program and the other

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despite loving the program and the other

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despite loving the program and the other
students Tyler had moments of self-doubt

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students Tyler had moments of self-doubt

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students Tyler had moments of self-doubt
in his worst moments he even had

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in his worst moments he even had

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in his worst moments he even had
thoughts of ending his life in in this

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thoughts of ending his life in in this

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thoughts of ending his life in in this
book it’s it’s sometimes a little

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book it’s it’s sometimes a little

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book it’s it’s sometimes a little
confusing CU they or it could be

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confusing CU they or it could be

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confusing CU they or it could be
confusing because they switch between

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confusing because they switch between

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confusing because they switch between
authors there’s two authors

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authors there’s two authors

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authors there’s two authors
uh there’s will Hutcherson I believe is

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uh there’s will Hutcherson I believe is

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uh there’s will Hutcherson I believe is
the name and chinaway Williams and so

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the name and chinaway Williams and so

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the name and chinaway Williams and so
they usually designate who’s speaking in

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they usually designate who’s speaking in

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they usually designate who’s speaking in
this chapter it looks like for the most

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this chapter it looks like for the most

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this chapter it looks like for the most
part will is speaking he’s talking about

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part will is speaking he’s talking about

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part will is speaking he’s talking about
how this student will has seemingly

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how this student will has seemingly

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how this student will has seemingly
looks like he has everything together on

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looks like he has everything together on

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looks like he has everything together on
the outside he has lots of stuff going

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the outside he has lots of stuff going

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the outside he has lots of stuff going
for him in his life uh but yet he still

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for him in his life uh but yet he still

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for him in his life uh but yet he still
shares or this the student Tyler shares

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shares or this the student Tyler shares

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shares or this the student Tyler shares
with him

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with him

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with him
that he has even had thoughts of ending

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that he has even had thoughts of ending

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that he has even had thoughts of ending
his life and so he’s asking the question

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his life and so he’s asking the question

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his life and so he’s asking the question
how does a kid who seemingly has it all

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how does a kid who seemingly has it all

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how does a kid who seemingly has it all
together get so down and he says uh he

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together get so down and he says uh he

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together get so down and he says uh he
has so much going for him right uh he

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has so much going for him right uh he

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has so much going for him right uh he
comes from a good family check he wasn’t

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comes from a good family check he wasn’t

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comes from a good family check he wasn’t
bullied as a kid check uh he didn’t have

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bullied as a kid check uh he didn’t have

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bullied as a kid check uh he didn’t have
any significant Trauma from abuse check

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any significant Trauma from abuse check

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any significant Trauma from abuse check
so what was happening is what he asks

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so what was happening is what he asks

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so what was happening is what he asks
and you know this seeing this student

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and you know this seeing this student

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and you know this seeing this student
that he really enjoyed spending time

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that he really enjoyed spending time

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that he really enjoyed spending time
with so much struggle so much even

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with so much struggle so much even

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with so much struggle so much even
though he had so much going for him

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though he had so much going for him

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though he had so much going for him
really caused will to start questioning

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really caused will to start questioning

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really caused will to start questioning
and

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and

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and
investigating so will was seeing similar

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investigating so will was seeing similar

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investigating so will was seeing similar
things in many of his students students

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things in many of his students students

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things in many of his students students
seem to be increasingly disengaged or

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seem to be increasingly disengaged or

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seem to be increasingly disengaged or
detached in recent years parents and

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detached in recent years parents and

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detached in recent years parents and
students approached well with concerns

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students approached well with concerns

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students approached well with concerns
they had for others

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they had for others

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they had for others
they would say things like they just

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they would say things like they just

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they would say things like they just
describing other people they would say

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describing other people they would say

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describing other people they would say
things like they just don’t seem like

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things like they just don’t seem like

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things like they just don’t seem like
themselves anymore they’re always down

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themselves anymore they’re always down

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themselves anymore they’re always down
she is saying some things that are

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she is saying some things that are

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she is saying some things that are
really concerning me so you know all

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really concerning me so you know all

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really concerning me so you know all
these people students parents coming to

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these people students parents coming to

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these people students parents coming to
him expressing concern for other people

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him expressing concern for other people

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him expressing concern for other people
that they see in their lives that are

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that they see in their lives that are

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that they see in their lives that are
struggling with despair he goes on he

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struggling with despair he goes on he

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struggling with despair he goes on he
says more and more students were feeling

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says more and more students were feeling

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says more and more students were feeling
paralyzed and anxious

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paralyzed and anxious

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paralyzed and anxious
when facing resistance or obstacles in

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when facing resistance or obstacles in

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when facing resistance or obstacles in
life students were losing their

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life students were losing their

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life students were losing their
resilience and their

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resilience and their

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resilience and their
motivation many of Will’s students were

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motivation many of Will’s students were

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motivation many of Will’s students were
self- diagnosing as being depressed or

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self- diagnosing as being depressed or

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self- diagnosing as being depressed or
very depressed while others were

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very depressed while others were

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very depressed while others were
describing panic attacks or

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describing panic attacks or

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describing panic attacks or
anxiety even worse others were

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anxiety even worse others were

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anxiety even worse others were
describing their past attempts at

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describing their past attempts at

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describing their past attempts at
suicide While others detailed their

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suicide While others detailed their

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suicide While others detailed their
future plans as will did more

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future plans as will did more

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future plans as will did more
investigation he found that this was

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investigation he found that this was

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investigation he found that this was
happening Nationwide in this part of the

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happening Nationwide in this part of the

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happening Nationwide in this part of the
chap or this chapter he’s they’re kind

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chap or this chapter he’s they’re kind

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chap or this chapter he’s they’re kind
of setting up the whole book so they’re

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of setting up the whole book so they’re

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of setting up the whole book so they’re
giving a lot of background information

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giving a lot of background information

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giving a lot of background information
they’re setting the scene for why this

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they’re setting the scene for why this

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they’re setting the scene for why this
is so important and so the next part

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is so important and so the next part

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is so important and so the next part
they go into some statistics to try to

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they go into some statistics to try to

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they go into some statistics to try to
help give a better picture of what’s

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help give a better picture of what’s

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help give a better picture of what’s
going on and they say since 2007 suicide

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going on and they say since 2007 suicide

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going on and they say since 2007 suicide
rates have increased by 70

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rates have increased by 70

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rates have increased by 70
6% for ages 15 to

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6% for ages 15 to

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6% for ages 15 to
19 uh suicides rates nearly doubled in

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19 uh suicides rates nearly doubled in

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19 uh suicides rates nearly doubled in
teenage girls or in teen girls the

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teenage girls or in teen girls the

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teenage girls or in teen girls the
highest rate of increase in suicide

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highest rate of increase in suicide

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highest rate of increase in suicide
among all age groups is in kids between

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among all age groups is in kids between

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among all age groups is in kids between
10 and 14 years

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10 and 14 years

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10 and 14 years
old all right so it goes on with some

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old all right so it goes on with some

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old all right so it goes on with some
more statistics he says depressive

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more statistics he says depressive

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more statistics he says depressive
symptoms are up 21% in boys and up 50%

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symptoms are up 21% in boys and up 50%

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symptoms are up 21% in boys and up 50%
in

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in

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in
girls suicide attempts among black teens

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girls suicide attempts among black teens

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girls suicide attempts among black teens
increase by

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increase by

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increase by
73% between 1991 and

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73% between 1991 and

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73% between 1991 and
2017 and there is an elevated risk of

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2017 and there is an elevated risk of

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2017 and there is an elevated risk of
suicide among African-American boys age

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suicide among African-American boys age

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suicide among African-American boys age
5 to 11 in early 2020 an estimated 1 out

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5 to 11 in early 2020 an estimated 1 out

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5 to 11 in early 2020 an estimated 1 out
of four young adults contemplated

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of four young adults contemplated

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of four young adults contemplated
suicide in March of 2020 the disaster

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suicide in March of 2020 the disaster

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suicide in March of 2020 the disaster
distress he line saw an increase of

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distress he line saw an increase of

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distress he line saw an increase of
891 in call

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891 in call

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891 in call
volume so he’s the book is laying the

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volume so he’s the book is laying the

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volume so he’s the book is laying the
foundation all these statistics about

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foundation all these statistics about

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foundation all these statistics about
changes in brain health and mental

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changes in brain health and mental

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changes in brain health and mental
health that they’re seeing that kids are

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health that they’re seeing that kids are

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health that they’re seeing that kids are
just having a really tough time with

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just having a really tough time with

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just having a really tough time with
Despair and so you know some of these

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Despair and so you know some of these

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Despair and so you know some of these
are very hard to wrap your mind around

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are very hard to wrap your mind around

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are very hard to wrap your mind around
just that last one of the disaster

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just that last one of the disaster

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just that last one of the disaster
distress helpline increasing their call

0:06:04.070,0:06:04.080
distress helpline increasing their call

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distress helpline increasing their call
volume by

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volume by

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volume by
891 just blows my mind uh and so you it

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891 just blows my mind uh and so you it

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891 just blows my mind uh and so you it
just Paints the picture of how serious

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just Paints the picture of how serious

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just Paints the picture of how serious
this really

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this really

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this really
is uh

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is uh

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is uh
for uh our society and for Youth and the

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for uh our society and for Youth and the

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for uh our society and for Youth and the
next section he is titled a time when I

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next section he is titled a time when I

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next section he is titled a time when I
blew it uh will returns to the story

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blew it uh will returns to the story

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blew it uh will returns to the story
about Tyler here and he says that he

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about Tyler here and he says that he

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about Tyler here and he says that he
believed in Tyler so much he thought

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believed in Tyler so much he thought

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believed in Tyler so much he thought
maybe he just needed a push so will

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maybe he just needed a push so will

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maybe he just needed a push so will
worked with another program leader to

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worked with another program leader to

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worked with another program leader to
come up with a plan maybe thinking that

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come up with a plan maybe thinking that

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come up with a plan maybe thinking that
he just needed some extra encouragement

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he just needed some extra encouragement

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he just needed some extra encouragement
maybe he just needed to see his own

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maybe he just needed to see his own

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maybe he just needed to see his own
potential uh he came up with this plan

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potential uh he came up with this plan

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potential uh he came up with this plan
he says together they executed the plan

0:06:54.870,0:06:54.880
he says together they executed the plan

0:06:54.880,0:06:57.550
he says together they executed the plan
believing they would have a new student

0:06:57.550,0:06:57.560
believing they would have a new student

0:06:57.560,0:07:00.390
believing they would have a new student
in 90 days

0:07:00.390,0:07:00.400
in 90 days

0:07:00.400,0:07:02.029
in 90 days
so he’s telling the story here he says

0:07:02.029,0:07:02.039
so he’s telling the story here he says

0:07:02.039,0:07:04.830
so he’s telling the story here he says
during a church Retreat Tyler

0:07:04.830,0:07:04.840
during a church Retreat Tyler

0:07:04.840,0:07:07.670
during a church Retreat Tyler
experienced a setback then Tyler being

0:07:07.670,0:07:07.680
experienced a setback then Tyler being

0:07:07.680,0:07:09.990
experienced a setback then Tyler being
the student he says the combination of

0:07:09.990,0:07:10.000
the student he says the combination of

0:07:10.000,0:07:12.589
the student he says the combination of
being away from family and in a

0:07:12.589,0:07:12.599
being away from family and in a

0:07:12.599,0:07:15.110
being away from family and in a
spiritually charged environment caused

0:07:15.110,0:07:15.120
spiritually charged environment caused

0:07:15.120,0:07:16.830
spiritually charged environment caused
his anxiety to

0:07:16.830,0:07:16.840
his anxiety to

0:07:16.840,0:07:20.150
his anxiety to
increase when Tyler tried to share his

0:07:20.150,0:07:20.160
increase when Tyler tried to share his

0:07:20.160,0:07:22.589
increase when Tyler tried to share his
feelings with a leader they were

0:07:22.589,0:07:22.599
feelings with a leader they were

0:07:22.599,0:07:26.150
feelings with a leader they were
dismissed instead of acknowledging his

0:07:26.150,0:07:26.160
dismissed instead of acknowledging his

0:07:26.160,0:07:29.510
dismissed instead of acknowledging his
feelings he was met with statements like

0:07:29.510,0:07:29.520
feelings he was met with statements like

0:07:29.520,0:07:31.589
feelings he was met with statements like
just trust God and keep

0:07:31.589,0:07:31.599
just trust God and keep

0:07:31.599,0:07:34.550
just trust God and keep
praying on the second night feeling

0:07:34.550,0:07:34.560
praying on the second night feeling

0:07:34.560,0:07:37.670
praying on the second night feeling
uncomfortable and alone Tyler called his

0:07:37.670,0:07:37.680
uncomfortable and alone Tyler called his

0:07:37.680,0:07:40.390
uncomfortable and alone Tyler called his
parents they drove two hours to pick him

0:07:40.390,0:07:40.400
parents they drove two hours to pick him

0:07:40.400,0:07:43.189
parents they drove two hours to pick him
up without telling any of the staff

0:07:43.189,0:07:43.199
up without telling any of the staff

0:07:43.199,0:07:45.749
up without telling any of the staff
shocked the leaders said well we are

0:07:45.749,0:07:45.759
shocked the leaders said well we are

0:07:45.759,0:07:49.710
shocked the leaders said well we are
going to have a hard talk about this and

0:07:49.710,0:07:49.720
going to have a hard talk about this and

0:07:49.720,0:07:52.990
going to have a hard talk about this and
these or it says the hard talks they

0:07:52.990,0:07:53.000
these or it says the hard talks they

0:07:53.000,0:07:56.270
these or it says the hard talks they
insisted on backfired Tyler became

0:07:56.270,0:07:56.280
insisted on backfired Tyler became

0:07:56.280,0:08:00.070
insisted on backfired Tyler became
resistant disrespectful and seemed angry

0:08:00.070,0:08:00.080
resistant disrespectful and seemed angry

0:08:00.080,0:08:02.710
resistant disrespectful and seemed angry
a few months into their plan Tyler

0:08:02.710,0:08:02.720
a few months into their plan Tyler

0:08:02.720,0:08:04.990
a few months into their plan Tyler
blindsided them by telling them he

0:08:04.990,0:08:05.000
blindsided them by telling them he

0:08:05.000,0:08:06.869
blindsided them by telling them he
wouldn’t be attending the upcoming

0:08:06.869,0:08:06.879
wouldn’t be attending the upcoming

0:08:06.879,0:08:10.029
wouldn’t be attending the upcoming
Retreat or will was furious with Tyler

0:08:10.029,0:08:10.039
Retreat or will was furious with Tyler

0:08:10.039,0:08:12.469
Retreat or will was furious with Tyler
and he called him into his office and

0:08:12.469,0:08:12.479
and he called him into his office and

0:08:12.479,0:08:15.950
and he called him into his office and
when Tyler tried to tell Will how he was

0:08:15.950,0:08:15.960
when Tyler tried to tell Will how he was

0:08:15.960,0:08:19.589
when Tyler tried to tell Will how he was
feeling his feelings weren’t heard will

0:08:19.589,0:08:19.599
feeling his feelings weren’t heard will

0:08:19.599,0:08:22.749
feeling his feelings weren’t heard will
was too busy caught up in what he was

0:08:22.749,0:08:22.759
was too busy caught up in what he was

0:08:22.759,0:08:25.029
was too busy caught up in what he was
going to will was too caught up in what

0:08:25.029,0:08:25.039
going to will was too caught up in what

0:08:25.039,0:08:27.950
going to will was too caught up in what
he was going to say will lectured Tyler

0:08:27.950,0:08:27.960
he was going to say will lectured Tyler

0:08:27.960,0:08:30.270
he was going to say will lectured Tyler
on the commitment he had made to the

0:08:30.270,0:08:30.280
on the commitment he had made to the

0:08:30.280,0:08:33.190
on the commitment he had made to the
program again Tyler tried to tell Will

0:08:33.190,0:08:33.200
program again Tyler tried to tell Will

0:08:33.200,0:08:36.190
program again Tyler tried to tell Will
his feelings will told Tyler I

0:08:36.190,0:08:36.200
his feelings will told Tyler I

0:08:36.200,0:08:38.509
his feelings will told Tyler I
understand that you feel that way but it

0:08:38.509,0:08:38.519
understand that you feel that way but it

0:08:38.519,0:08:41.509
understand that you feel that way but it
doesn’t matter you need to get over how

0:08:41.509,0:08:41.519
doesn’t matter you need to get over how

0:08:41.519,0:08:44.149
doesn’t matter you need to get over how
you’re feeling and come with us the next

0:08:44.149,0:08:44.159
you’re feeling and come with us the next

0:08:44.159,0:08:47.509
you’re feeling and come with us the next
day Tyler quit the program and so just

0:08:47.509,0:08:47.519
day Tyler quit the program and so just

0:08:47.519,0:08:51.910
day Tyler quit the program and so just
in complete shock about Tyler’s response

0:08:51.910,0:08:51.920
in complete shock about Tyler’s response

0:08:51.920,0:08:54.790
in complete shock about Tyler’s response
will explains that he wasn’t able to

0:08:54.790,0:08:54.800
will explains that he wasn’t able to

0:08:54.800,0:08:57.590
will explains that he wasn’t able to
help Tyler because he was using what he

0:08:57.590,0:08:57.600
help Tyler because he was using what he

0:08:57.600,0:09:00.030
help Tyler because he was using what he
calls old tools

0:09:00.030,0:09:00.040
calls old tools

0:09:00.040,0:09:01.790
calls old tools
and these are methods that might still

0:09:01.790,0:09:01.800
and these are methods that might still

0:09:01.800,0:09:04.430
and these are methods that might still
work with some but they wouldn’t work

0:09:04.430,0:09:04.440
work with some but they wouldn’t work

0:09:04.440,0:09:07.750
work with some but they wouldn’t work
for most kids all right so he goes on

0:09:07.750,0:09:07.760
for most kids all right so he goes on

0:09:07.760,0:09:10.470
for most kids all right so he goes on
and he’s he’s talking about he titles a

0:09:10.470,0:09:10.480
and he’s he’s talking about he titles a

0:09:10.480,0:09:13.069
and he’s he’s talking about he titles a
section the good news and he says our

0:09:13.069,0:09:13.079
section the good news and he says our

0:09:13.079,0:09:15.150
section the good news and he says our
greatest weapon against Despair and

0:09:15.150,0:09:15.160
greatest weapon against Despair and

0:09:15.160,0:09:18.430
greatest weapon against Despair and
suicide is you parents small group

0:09:18.430,0:09:18.440
suicide is you parents small group

0:09:18.440,0:09:21.710
suicide is you parents small group
leaders youth pastors caring

0:09:21.710,0:09:21.720
leaders youth pastors caring

0:09:21.720,0:09:25.190
leaders youth pastors caring
adults and he continues there are tools

0:09:25.190,0:09:25.200
adults and he continues there are tools

0:09:25.200,0:09:28.310
adults and he continues there are tools
that can help kids and teenagers heal

0:09:28.310,0:09:28.320
that can help kids and teenagers heal

0:09:28.320,0:09:30.750
that can help kids and teenagers heal
our brains are designed to respond in

0:09:30.750,0:09:30.760
our brains are designed to respond in

0:09:30.760,0:09:34.110
our brains are designed to respond in
predictable ways when we connect with

0:09:34.110,0:09:34.120
predictable ways when we connect with

0:09:34.120,0:09:37.230
predictable ways when we connect with
others on a deep level and when we feel

0:09:37.230,0:09:37.240
others on a deep level and when we feel

0:09:37.240,0:09:40.470
others on a deep level and when we feel
seen in fact research shows that we

0:09:40.470,0:09:40.480
seen in fact research shows that we

0:09:40.480,0:09:43.630
seen in fact research shows that we
aren’t powerless at all for instance

0:09:43.630,0:09:43.640
aren’t powerless at all for instance

0:09:43.640,0:09:45.670
aren’t powerless at all for instance
research on the Neuroscience of

0:09:45.670,0:09:45.680
research on the Neuroscience of

0:09:45.680,0:09:47.710
research on the Neuroscience of
attachment shows us that the brain can

0:09:47.710,0:09:47.720
attachment shows us that the brain can

0:09:47.720,0:09:50.509
attachment shows us that the brain can
learn a new attachment pattern because

0:09:50.509,0:09:50.519
learn a new attachment pattern because

0:09:50.519,0:09:52.590
learn a new attachment pattern because
of the process of

0:09:52.590,0:09:52.600
of the process of

0:09:52.600,0:09:54.670
of the process of
neuroplasticity the brain has the

0:09:54.670,0:09:54.680
neuroplasticity the brain has the

0:09:54.680,0:09:58.110
neuroplasticity the brain has the
ability to rewire and reorganize

0:09:58.110,0:09:58.120
ability to rewire and reorganize

0:09:58.120,0:10:01.430
ability to rewire and reorganize
itself will goes on to say another

0:10:01.430,0:10:01.440
itself will goes on to say another

0:10:01.440,0:10:03.949
itself will goes on to say another
helpful Discovery is that a secure

0:10:03.949,0:10:03.959
helpful Discovery is that a secure

0:10:03.959,0:10:06.790
helpful Discovery is that a secure
attachment with an adult can not only

0:10:06.790,0:10:06.800
attachment with an adult can not only

0:10:06.800,0:10:09.389
attachment with an adult can not only
help heal and rewire the brain from a

0:10:09.389,0:10:09.399
help heal and rewire the brain from a

0:10:09.399,0:10:12.430
help heal and rewire the brain from a
past insecure attachment but it can also

0:10:12.430,0:10:12.440
past insecure attachment but it can also

0:10:12.440,0:10:15.829
past insecure attachment but it can also
help decrease the risk for despair and

0:10:15.829,0:10:15.839
help decrease the risk for despair and

0:10:15.839,0:10:18.190
help decrease the risk for despair and
Suicidal Thoughts in

0:10:18.190,0:10:18.200
Suicidal Thoughts in

0:10:18.200,0:10:22.750
Suicidal Thoughts in
adolescence so this idea that the brain

0:10:22.750,0:10:22.760
adolescence so this idea that the brain

0:10:22.760,0:10:24.030
adolescence so this idea that the brain
can heal

0:10:24.030,0:10:24.040
can heal

0:10:24.040,0:10:27.269
can heal
itself um it it’s not just automatic but

0:10:27.269,0:10:27.279
itself um it it’s not just automatic but

0:10:27.279,0:10:29.750
itself um it it’s not just automatic but
there is the possibility that you know

0:10:29.750,0:10:29.760
there is the possibility that you know

0:10:29.760,0:10:32.389
there is the possibility that you know
your brain can be changed uh this idea

0:10:32.389,0:10:32.399
your brain can be changed uh this idea

0:10:32.399,0:10:33.430
your brain can be changed uh this idea
of

0:10:33.430,0:10:33.440
of

0:10:33.440,0:10:35.110
of
neuroplasticity so whether you’re a

0:10:35.110,0:10:35.120
neuroplasticity so whether you’re a

0:10:35.120,0:10:37.590
neuroplasticity so whether you’re a
parent of a preschooler Elementary Age

0:10:37.590,0:10:37.600
parent of a preschooler Elementary Age

0:10:37.600,0:10:40.829
parent of a preschooler Elementary Age
kid teenager or young adult you can

0:10:40.829,0:10:40.839
kid teenager or young adult you can

0:10:40.839,0:10:44.069
kid teenager or young adult you can
begin habits now that will nurture

0:10:44.069,0:10:44.079
begin habits now that will nurture

0:10:44.079,0:10:46.069
begin habits now that will nurture
emotionally healthy development and

0:10:46.069,0:10:46.079
emotionally healthy development and

0:10:46.079,0:10:48.990
emotionally healthy development and
create resilience against despair when

0:10:48.990,0:10:49.000
create resilience against despair when

0:10:49.000,0:10:49.870
create resilience against despair when
they’re

0:10:49.870,0:10:49.880
they’re

0:10:49.880,0:10:52.470
they’re
older there are practical things that

0:10:52.470,0:10:52.480
older there are practical things that

0:10:52.480,0:10:54.790
older there are practical things that
you can do right now to intervene and

0:10:54.790,0:10:54.800
you can do right now to intervene and

0:10:54.800,0:10:56.990
you can do right now to intervene and
begin the process of healing these are

0:10:56.990,0:10:57.000
begin the process of healing these are

0:10:57.000,0:10:58.310
begin the process of healing these are
tools that will help you make

0:10:58.310,0:10:58.320
tools that will help you make

0:10:58.320,0:11:00.389
tools that will help you make
significant connections that lead to

0:11:00.389,0:11:00.399
significant connections that lead to

0:11:00.399,0:11:04.110
significant connections that lead to
change tools I wish I had with Tyler he

0:11:04.110,0:11:04.120
change tools I wish I had with Tyler he

0:11:04.120,0:11:07.470
change tools I wish I had with Tyler he
said I did many things wrong in my plan

0:11:07.470,0:11:07.480
said I did many things wrong in my plan

0:11:07.480,0:11:11.509
said I did many things wrong in my plan
to help Tyler but the greatest was my

0:11:11.509,0:11:11.519
to help Tyler but the greatest was my

0:11:11.519,0:11:14.389
to help Tyler but the greatest was my
inability to see him and what he was

0:11:14.389,0:11:14.399
inability to see him and what he was

0:11:14.399,0:11:18.710
inability to see him and what he was
feeling he didn’t feel seen ironically

0:11:18.710,0:11:18.720
feeling he didn’t feel seen ironically

0:11:18.720,0:11:21.350
feeling he didn’t feel seen ironically
if I had just connected and resisted the

0:11:21.350,0:11:21.360
if I had just connected and resisted the

0:11:21.360,0:11:25.949
if I had just connected and resisted the
urge to fix or to fix him I could have

0:11:25.949,0:11:25.959
urge to fix or to fix him I could have

0:11:25.959,0:11:29.030
urge to fix or to fix him I could have
played a part in helping him to heal and

0:11:29.030,0:11:29.040
played a part in helping him to heal and

0:11:29.040,0:11:31.350
played a part in helping him to heal and
instead I unknowingly played a part in

0:11:31.350,0:11:31.360
instead I unknowingly played a part in

0:11:31.360,0:11:33.949
instead I unknowingly played a part in
keeping him right where he was and will

0:11:33.949,0:11:33.959
keeping him right where he was and will

0:11:33.959,0:11:36.069
keeping him right where he was and will
goes on to say I’m happy to report that

0:11:36.069,0:11:36.079
goes on to say I’m happy to report that

0:11:36.079,0:11:39.350
goes on to say I’m happy to report that
Tyler is doing great today he went to

0:11:39.350,0:11:39.360
Tyler is doing great today he went to

0:11:39.360,0:11:41.550
Tyler is doing great today he went to
counseling and is managing his

0:11:41.550,0:11:41.560
counseling and is managing his

0:11:41.560,0:11:44.350
counseling and is managing his
depression he describes the true key

0:11:44.350,0:11:44.360
depression he describes the true key

0:11:44.360,0:11:46.870
depression he describes the true key
does Tyler success was his parents they

0:11:46.870,0:11:46.880
does Tyler success was his parents they

0:11:46.880,0:11:49.550
does Tyler success was his parents they
were deeply engaged they prayed for him

0:11:49.550,0:11:49.560
were deeply engaged they prayed for him

0:11:49.560,0:11:52.629
were deeply engaged they prayed for him
every day and they instinctly used many

0:11:52.629,0:11:52.639
every day and they instinctly used many

0:11:52.639,0:11:55.269
every day and they instinctly used many
of the tools we will share in this

0:11:55.269,0:11:55.279
of the tools we will share in this

0:11:55.279,0:11:58.710
of the tools we will share in this
book these strategies are ground tested

0:11:58.710,0:11:58.720
book these strategies are ground tested

0:11:58.720,0:12:01.629
book these strategies are ground tested
and and we believe they will Empower you

0:12:01.629,0:12:01.639
and and we believe they will Empower you

0:12:01.639,0:12:04.470
and and we believe they will Empower you
to be part of the solution to the rising

0:12:04.470,0:12:04.480
to be part of the solution to the rising

0:12:04.480,0:12:07.389
to be part of the solution to the rising
despair we are seeing in kids and

0:12:07.389,0:12:07.399
despair we are seeing in kids and

0:12:07.399,0:12:09.829
despair we are seeing in kids and
teenagers they will help you connect

0:12:09.829,0:12:09.839
teenagers they will help you connect

0:12:09.839,0:12:12.670
teenagers they will help you connect
with give hope to and lead the Next

0:12:12.670,0:12:12.680
with give hope to and lead the Next

0:12:12.680,0:12:15.430
with give hope to and lead the Next
Generation towards healing all right so

0:12:15.430,0:12:15.440
Generation towards healing all right so

0:12:15.440,0:12:19.189
Generation towards healing all right so
again he’s painting this picture of the

0:12:19.189,0:12:19.199
again he’s painting this picture of the

0:12:19.199,0:12:23.069
again he’s painting this picture of the
importance of kids feeling seen and

0:12:23.069,0:12:23.079
importance of kids feeling seen and

0:12:23.079,0:12:27.069
importance of kids feeling seen and
heard it creat some discussion questions

0:12:27.069,0:12:27.079
heard it creat some discussion questions

0:12:27.079,0:12:30.470
heard it creat some discussion questions
for this section or chapter of the book

0:12:30.470,0:12:30.480
for this section or chapter of the book

0:12:30.480,0:12:33.189
for this section or chapter of the book
how does it feel to know that when we

0:12:33.189,0:12:33.199
how does it feel to know that when we

0:12:33.199,0:12:36.269
how does it feel to know that when we
feel seen our brains are wired to

0:12:36.269,0:12:36.279
feel seen our brains are wired to

0:12:36.279,0:12:38.829
feel seen our brains are wired to
respond in predictable ways that’s

0:12:38.829,0:12:38.839
respond in predictable ways that’s

0:12:38.839,0:12:41.829
respond in predictable ways that’s
number one number two is we learn that

0:12:41.829,0:12:41.839
number one number two is we learn that

0:12:41.839,0:12:44.230
number one number two is we learn that
the brain has the ability to rewire and

0:12:44.230,0:12:44.240
the brain has the ability to rewire and

0:12:44.240,0:12:47.350
the brain has the ability to rewire and
reorganize itself how does this impact

0:12:47.350,0:12:47.360
reorganize itself how does this impact

0:12:47.360,0:12:49.670
reorganize itself how does this impact
how you see anxiety depression or

0:12:49.670,0:12:49.680
how you see anxiety depression or

0:12:49.680,0:12:52.470
how you see anxiety depression or
despair that’s all for this episode

0:12:52.470,0:12:52.480
despair that’s all for this episode

0:12:52.480,0:12:53.949
despair that’s all for this episode
thank you for watching if you like the

0:12:53.949,0:12:53.959
thank you for watching if you like the

0:12:53.959,0:12:56.069
thank you for watching if you like the
video give us a thumbs up and be sure to

0:12:56.069,0:12:56.079
video give us a thumbs up and be sure to

0:12:56.079,0:12:57.550
video give us a thumbs up and be sure to
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