How To Stop Before You Flop

How To Stop Before You Flop

Episode: 016

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How To Stop Before You Flop

Life Summary Sentences

“Yeah, she fell into sin.”

“He cheated on his wife.”

“He died of a heart attack at fifty-eight.”

”One day Samson went to the Philistine town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute.” Judges 16:1

Disasters are rarely the result of an isolated decision. They are almost always the end of a slippery slope.
– Craig Groeschel

“Samson lived in the town of Zorah, some say twenty-five miles from Gaza.” [1]

“Do you know how many steps it takes to go twenty-five miles? Approximately 56,250.” [1]

“We don’t wreck our lives all at once but a little at a time.
Like erosion. We are all tempted to slide down that 56250-step slope every day.” [1]

“That’s why it’s so important to get hold of our habits.” [1]

Based on who you want to become, what one habit do you need to stop? [1]

”You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God’s right side. Think about what is up there, not about what is here on earth. You died, which means that your life is hidden with Christ, who sits beside God… Each of you is now a new person You are becoming more and more like your Creator, and you will understand him better” (Col. 31-3, 10 CEV).

Paul encourages us: Forget about who you were. Know who you are in Christ and who you want to become in him.  [1]

“Don’t be controlled by your body. Kill every desire for the wrong kind of sex. Don’t be immoral or indecent or have evil thoughts. Don’t be greedy, which is the same as worshiping idols…But now you must stop doing such things. You must quit being angry, hateful, and evil. You must no longer say insulting or cruel things about others. And stop lying to each other. You have given up your old way of life with its habits.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬, 8‬-‭9‬ ‭CEV‬‬

“…if you want to become who you want to become, there are some habits you need to give up.” [1]

“So, based on who you want to become, what one habit do you need to break?” [1]

If this is overwhelming because not one habit but many come to mind, know that you aren’t alone.

“The Accuser knows that if he can keep you focused on and overwhelmed by all those issues, he’ll keep defeating you.” [1]

You cannot defeat what you cannot define.
– Craig Groeschel

Why is this so difficult?

“Good habits are difficult to start because the pain comes now and the payoff is in the future.” [1]

“Bad habits are difficult to stop because the payoff comes now and the pain is in the future.” [1]

Why resist a temptation tomorrow if you have the power to eliminate it today?
– Craig Groeschel

“…we need to understand cues and identify the ones that trigger our habits.” [1]

“We are going to remove the triggers that tempt us to take actions that lead in the wrong direction.” [1]

“If we can’t remove the cue altogether, we will put up some roadblocks to prevent us from setting foot on “the path of the wicked.” [1]

“How do you win that battle and break the habit?
Remove the triggers. God is the one who gave us this idea of eliminating (instead of battling) temptation: ‘Flee from sexual immorality’ (1 Cor. 6:18). ‘Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts’ (2 Tim. 2:22 NLT).” [1]

Example:

If you are trying to eliminate porn triggers, you will figure out what “stimulates” your “youthful lusts”?  [1]

If social media apps are your trigger, delete the app.
If it is watching a certain TV show, stop watching it.
Maybe it is being alone when you travel on business. Make travel arrangements that take away this option.

The habits you have today are shaping who you will become tomorrow. One step at a time, your habits are taking you somewhere. [1]

If you don’t like where they’re taking you, change your habits.
If you change your habits, you will change your life. [1]

Exercise

“This exercise is more intensive for good reason. If a habit you are struggling with, especially in secret, could lead to a Samson-type ending for you, digging in and being fully transparent in your response to these questions could bring clarity and understanding. Let your answers lead to change, and let the change lead to freedom.” [1]

“What is the one habit you know you most need to stop?” [1]

“What is the best thing that could happen if you are successful and quit?” [1]

“What is the worst thing that could happen if you continue or get worse?” [1]

“When you think about stopping, what is your rationalization for continuing?” [1]

“What cues regularly create triggers for your habit?” [1]

Principle

“Good habits are difficult to start because the pain comes now and the payoff is in the future.” [1]

“Bad habits are difficult to stop because the payoff comes now and the pain is in the future.” [1]

Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 NLT

Sources:

[1] Groeschel, C. (2023). The Power to Change: Mastering the Habits That Matter Most. Zondervan.

Show Notes

Episode Description

In this episode, we discuss How To Stop Before You Flop, which is about stopping habits. This episode was part of a study inspired by The Power To Change by Craig Groeschel. Each week, I take concepts from Pastor Craig Groeschel’s book, The Power To Change, and apply them to brain health.

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Transcript

0:00:00.000,0:00:05.400
Hello and welcome to The Overflow Podcast. My name
is Craig Booker. The title of this

0:00:05.400,0:00:12.120
episode is How to Stop Before You Flop. A lot
of the material for this week’s episode was

0:00:12.120,0:00:17.160
inspired by Craig Groeschel’s book The Power to
Change, Mastering the Habits That Matter Most.

0:00:17.940,0:00:24.360
Note: I will talk a lot about mental health but
please note this is not a substitute for therapy

0:00:24.360,0:00:29.340
or mental health care I am not a counselor or
a physician if you need help with mental health

0:00:29.340,0:00:35.220
challenges, please find a qualified mental health
professional. This episode’s title is How to Stop

0:00:35.220,0:00:44.400
Before You Flop. In this section of the book Craig
Groeschel talks about life summary sentences. These

0:00:44.400,0:00:51.300
are like one sentence that sums up an entire
person’s life you’ve probably heard people use

0:00:51.300,0:01:00.060
these life summary sentences about other people
some examples are yeah she fell into sin or he

0:01:00.060,0:01:08.340
cheated on his wife another example from judges 16
verses 1 was one day Samson went to the Philistine

0:01:08.340,0:01:14.640
town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute
Samson didn’t live a short life right but this

0:01:14.640,0:01:22.020
one sentence seems to sum up his entire life I a
quote from Craig Rochelle it says disasters are

0:01:22.020,0:01:28.920
rarely the result of an isolated decision they
are almost always the end of a slippery slope

0:01:28.920,0:01:37.200
Samson live in the town of Zora some say was 25
miles from Gaza you know Samson didn’t just take

0:01:37.200,0:01:45.180
a quick walk across the street to get to Zora it
was 25 miles from his hometown of Gaza do you know

0:01:45.180,0:01:53.820
how many steps it takes to go 25 miles he did the
math and it’s approximately 56 250 steps it wasn’t

0:01:53.820,0:02:00.120
that he got in his car and drove real quickly to
this destination he had a lot of time to think

0:02:00.120,0:02:06.420
about this we don’t wreck Our Lives all at once
but a little at a time he said like erosion we

0:02:06.420,0:02:14.760
are all tempted to slide down that 56 250 step
slope every day that’s why it’s important to

0:02:14.760,0:02:21.180
get a hold of our habits based on who you want
to be come what one habit do you need to stop

0:02:21.180,0:02:28.380
Colossians 3 1-3 and verse 10. you have been
raised to life with Christ Now set your heart

0:02:28.380,0:02:35.460
on what is in heaven where Christ rules at God’s
right side think about what is up there not about

0:02:35.460,0:02:41.940
what is here on Earth you died which means that
your life is hidden with Christ who sits beside

0:02:41.940,0:02:48.540
God each of you is now a person now a new person
you are becoming more and more like your Creator

0:02:48.540,0:02:54.960
and you will understand him better so here Paul
is encouraging us to forget about who you were

0:02:54.960,0:03:01.920
know who you are in Christ and who you want to
become in him so in our study we’ve been talking

0:03:01.920,0:03:08.880
a lot about you know the reason behind why we do
things we’ve been talking about the who we feel

0:03:08.880,0:03:16.320
called to become in Colossians 3 5 verses or
three five and then eight through nine it says

0:03:16.320,0:03:23.760
don’t be controlled by your body body kill every
desire of the wrong kind of sex don’t be immoral

0:03:23.760,0:03:31.500
or indecent or have evil thoughts don’t be greedy
which is the same as worshiping Idols but now you

0:03:31.500,0:03:38.460
must stop doing such things you must quit being
angry hateful and evil you must no longer say

0:03:38.460,0:03:44.640
insulting or cruel things about others and stop
lying to each other you have given up your old

0:03:44.640,0:03:52.800
way your old way of life with its habits so here
we’re we’re hearing this call I believe this is

0:03:52.800,0:04:00.060
from Paul as well to leave our old ways behind
our old habits our old desires we are to kill

0:04:00.060,0:04:09.180
off those desires and grow new habits into the
person that were to become if you want to become

0:04:09.180,0:04:15.900
who you want to become there are some habits
you need to give up so based on who you want

0:04:15.900,0:04:22.140
to become what one habit do you need to break now
if this is overwhelming because there’s not just

0:04:22.140,0:04:28.800
one habit but a lot I know that you’re on alone
all of us can probably sit and think about all

0:04:28.800,0:04:33.720
these habits we need to break in our lives
and that process can really be overwhelming

0:04:36.540,0:04:44.160
Craig Rochelle says you cannot defeat what
you cannot Define so if we’re not willing to

0:04:44.160,0:04:50.100
specify what we’re trying to quit it’s going
to be really hard to defeat that bad habit

0:04:54.960,0:05:04.500
so the question is why is this so difficult for
us and uh so we we have good habits are difficult

0:05:04.500,0:05:12.660
to start because the pain comes now and the payoff
is in the future so no matter what that is whether

0:05:12.660,0:05:21.420
you’re trying to start a new habit to get in
better physical shape that’s hard because when you

0:05:21.420,0:05:29.280
start it’s painful you know your your muscles are
sore immediately after if not during your workout

0:05:30.120,0:05:39.780
and the payoff for that is far down the line
likewise if you know you’re trying to uh like I’ve

0:05:39.780,0:05:46.320
been trying to eat healthier so I can lose some
weight at first when I I started tracking all the

0:05:46.320,0:05:52.920
food that I’m eating each meal so that I’m only
eating so many calories each day it was incredibly

0:05:52.920,0:06:02.580
difficult I could no longer just go and and grab
whatever look good for me to eat I had to consider

0:06:03.420,0:06:11.520
you know what was in my food because it’s really
easy uh to go over the amount of calories I was

0:06:11.520,0:06:17.700
supposed to eat in a day to be healthy and to lose
weight um and this pain was really really a tough

0:06:17.700,0:06:24.120
process and now I’m over a month into this and
it’s still not completely easy but the process

0:06:24.120,0:06:29.820
is much more manageable than when I started
that’s why these good habits are so hard to

0:06:29.820,0:06:37.800
start is because the payoff that we’re seeking
is far out into the future and likewise if we

0:06:37.800,0:06:43.620
contrast this with bad habits it says bad habits
are difficult to stop because the payoff comes

0:06:43.620,0:06:51.480
now the fun is now and that’s that’s why they’re
so hard is the benefit is right now and the pain

0:06:51.480,0:06:58.980
is in the future like maybe the pain is regret
for that bad habit and that regret doesn’t come

0:06:58.980,0:07:05.220
immediately it’s a little bit after the Habit
Craig Rochelle says why resist a Temptation

0:07:05.220,0:07:12.300
tomorrow if you have the power to eliminate it
today we need to understand cues and identify

0:07:12.300,0:07:20.280
the ones that trigger our habits we talked about
I believe is in the past couple of weeks or the

0:07:20.280,0:07:27.360
past couple of episodes we’ve talked about cues
or triggers that lead us into our habits and so

0:07:27.360,0:07:33.360
this is saying that we need to understand those
cues and triggers so that we can better understand

0:07:33.360,0:07:40.620
how to stop those habits those bad habits we are
going to remove the triggers that tempt us to take

0:07:40.620,0:07:48.660
actions that lead in the wrong direction so if you
are trying to stop overeating you know there may

0:07:48.660,0:07:56.040
be certain cues or triggers that cause you to go
grab food when you’re not hungry or grab too much

0:07:56.040,0:08:03.240
food and so it’s recognizing what those triggers
or cues are so that we can interrupt the process

0:08:04.200,0:08:10.620
if we can’t remove the cues all together we
will put up some roadblocks to prevent us from

0:08:10.620,0:08:18.600
setting foot on the path of the wicked I have
a quote here from the book it says how do you

0:08:18.600,0:08:25.620
win the battle and break the Habit remove the
triggers God is the one who gave us this idea

0:08:26.400,0:08:34.560
of eliminating instead of battling Temptation it
says flee from sexual immorality First Corinthians

0:08:34.560,0:08:44.520
6 18 or run from anything that stimulates youthful
lusts second Timothy 2 22 New Living Translation

0:08:45.120,0:08:53.520
so I have an example here if you’re trying
to eliminate pornography triggers uh you

0:08:53.520,0:08:59.580
will figure out what stimulates your youthful
less so for a person that’s struggling with

0:08:59.580,0:09:07.500
pornography addiction the idea is to figure
out what stirs up or stimulates those desires

0:09:08.280,0:09:14.400
and the examples in the book were you know if
social media apps are your trigger delete the app

0:09:15.000,0:09:22.500
or the apps if it is watching a certain TV show
stop watching that show maybe it is being alone

0:09:22.500,0:09:27.780
when you travel on business uh maybe you could
make travel Arrangements that take this option

0:09:27.780,0:09:33.240
away where you’re not alone the habits you have
today are shaping who you will become tomorrow

0:09:33.900,0:09:40.380
one step at a time your habits are taking
you somewhere if you don’t like where they’re

0:09:40.380,0:09:46.200
taking you change your habits if you change
your habits you will change your life again

0:09:46.200,0:09:54.240
these are principles we’ve built on from past
episodes or past weeks and so we’re piling all

0:09:54.240,0:10:01.980
a lot of this together in this lesson all right
so we have an exercise and this exercise is more

0:10:01.980,0:10:09.360
intensive for good reason and if a habit you’re
struggling with especially in secret could lead

0:10:09.360,0:10:17.640
to a Samson type ending for you digging in
and being fully transparent in your response

0:10:17.640,0:10:24.180
to these questions could bring you Clarity and
understanding let your answers lead to change

0:10:25.020,0:10:29.820
and let the change lead to Freedom all
right so I’ve got a list of questions here

0:10:30.900,0:10:36.480
um as always I encourage you to do this at some
time in your week and go through this exercise but

0:10:36.480,0:10:41.280
we’re just going to briefly go over each of these
questions it’s what is one habit you know you

0:10:41.280,0:10:48.900
must or you most need to stop next was what is the
best thing that could happen if you’re successful

0:10:48.900,0:10:55.320
and quit so what is the worst thing that could
happen if you continue or get worse when you think

0:10:55.320,0:11:03.900
about stopping what is your rationalization for
continuing and then last is what cues regularly

0:11:03.900,0:11:08.520
create triggers for your habit so these are
all a list of questions really to help us

0:11:08.520,0:11:13.800
reflect on what is going on in the situation
so we can better understand it and possibly

0:11:13.800,0:11:23.340
interrupt or put up a roadblock to keep us from
going from that cue to acting on your desire

0:11:24.240,0:11:30.900
so before we talked about how that we have that q
and then there’s a craving immediately after that

0:11:30.900,0:11:37.560
cue so this is trying to interrupt from going
you know you have a cue you have a craving and

0:11:37.560,0:11:43.680
then typically you respond in some way so this is
trying to interrupt that and help you understand

0:11:43.680,0:11:52.560
how to kind of break that cycle of that bad habit
the principle for this section is good habits are

0:11:52.560,0:12:00.360
difficult to start because the pain comes now
and the payoff is in the future bad habits are

0:12:00.360,0:12:07.500
difficult to stop because the payoff comes now
and the pain is in the future Galatians 6 9 of the

0:12:07.500,0:12:12.960
New Living Translation says let’s not get tired
of doing what is good at just the right time we

0:12:12.960,0:12:19.380
will reap a harvest a blessing if we don’t give
up but yeah this this whole section is difficult

0:12:20.700,0:12:28.680
I don’t know if it is for you guys it’s it’s
really difficult like you said because you

0:12:28.680,0:12:35.100
know the bad habits that we’re trying to get rid
of really reward us immediately and that makes

0:12:35.100,0:12:44.520
quitting those really difficult but I I hope
this kind of breaks down the process in a more

0:12:44.520,0:12:51.780
practical way to help each of us stop bad habits
that we want to stop you know if we understand

0:12:51.780,0:12:58.380
who we’re we’re trying to become the person
we’re trying to become there are habits that

0:12:58.380,0:13:04.140
are getting in the way of that so if you’re like
what I think most people go through when they’re

0:13:04.140,0:13:09.540
doing this exercise you know when we were talking
about who before do like who we are supposed to

0:13:09.540,0:13:17.160
become we probably went through and listed a bunch
of habits that we need to break or we need to stop

0:13:17.160,0:13:23.880
and the list might need might be overwhelming
for a lot of you but you know that to become who

0:13:23.880,0:13:28.740
you’re supposed to become or who you’re supposed
to be you need to break some of those habits but

0:13:28.740,0:13:34.080
you just don’t know where to start so you know
maybe it’s before you get started it’s time to

0:13:34.680,0:13:42.540
reflect on it pray ask God for some clarity on
what habits you need to stop and you know another

0:13:42.540,0:13:50.880
approach to this is to look at your list of habits
and see what would make the biggest impact right

0:13:50.880,0:13:57.660
now if you stopped it I think one of the questions
was leading to that is you know thinking about

0:13:57.660,0:14:03.600
what is the best thing that could happen if you’re
successful at quitting this habit what could it

0:14:03.600,0:14:09.780
lead to like how does it how does it better enable
you to become the person you’re supposed to be

0:14:09.780,0:14:18.060
if we look at that we look at the why behind it
it helps to really keep us motivated when we’re

0:14:18.060,0:14:23.160
really struggling to break this habit that’s all
for this episode thank you for watching if you

0:14:23.160,0:14:27.660
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Last updated on: 02/03/2024

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