I struggle with change! I find it incredibly difficult to create lasting changes in my life.
Anyone else?
I have tried several approaches, and I have learned that if there is something that I am not quite satisfied with, my brain will eventually decide to do something about it. This is a personality trait that I am incredibly grateful to have. What I can’t quite figure out is why I struggle so much in asking others for help.
I have my reasons. We all do. We fear trusting people, being judged, being a burden, or being vulnerable. We fear disappointing people and are sometimes slow to recognize our need for help.
We falsely believe we must protect our image. We tell ourselves to “be strong” or “toughen up” without realizing that one of the most courageous things we can do is to ask for help. Past negative experiences cause us to assume the worst and not give others the chance to prove us wrong. And so the battle in our minds ensues.
Let’s say that you want to give this a try. You want to see if what you experienced before is still true today.
What are the steps to get from where you are to the ask?
- Define the Problem
- Identify the Need
- Identify the Person(s)
- Prepare for the Ask
The first step would be to define the problem. The problem is something that keeps coming up again and again. Sometimes, it is not necessarily a problem but more like a need. This need could be help with the kids, maintaining the yard, or finding a doctor. Next, we need to identify the person(s) who can help.
The last crucial step is to prepare for the ask. Think about how, when, and where you will ask. Maybe a phone call or a text will do. Depending on what you need, this may require an in-person meeting. Whatever this looks like, write it down or map it out.
What is your next step?
- Maybe you need to reach out to a trusted friend. Let them know that you struggle to ask for help. Tell them what you need.
- It could be time to join a community and build relationships that you are currently missing.
- Maybe you need to spend some time reflecting so you can map out a plan.
