What if I told you that the secret to feeling more energized, focused, and connected isn’t about doing more but about doing less? In our fast-paced, always-connected world, feeling drained and overwhelmed is easy. We live in an age where our energy is constantly drained by our work, responsibilities, and even leisure. Today, we’re exploring the concept of solitude or what Debra Fileta calls “healthy withdrawal.”
Limited Capacity
Just like the batteries in our devices, we also have limited capacity. As Debra Fileta notes, “We’re human beings with limited capacity, strength, and resources. We can only put out so much before we go kaput.” The word “kaput” makes me laugh, but the truth behind her statement is serious. If we fail to heed the warning behind her words, we will face burnout, the hospital, or worse.
Withdrawal, Solitude, & Loneliness
Before diving into a solution, let’s take a step back to better understand some key terms and their differences.
1. Withdrawal: Withdrawal is recharging by getting adequate sleep and taking breaks from work, responsibilities, technology, or social media.
2. Solitude: “Solitude is the deliberate act of being by yourself: giving yourself a chance to think, to feel, and to fill up.” Debra Fileta
3. Loneliness: “Loneliness, on the other hand, is a state of mind—a feeling of disconnect from the people around you that leaves you feeling drained and isolated in the end.” Debra Fileta
Important Observations
Debra points out that loneliness typically happens unintentionally, while solitude is an intentional practice. Both withdrawal and solitude restore our capacity to live and love well, but there are often some negative connotations of the word “withdrawal.” When some hear the word, they may think of weaning off a substance or medication or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Solitude: Practical Benefits
I don’t know about you, but anytime I start something new, I like to know, “What’s in it for me?” In the chapter, Debra says that practicing solitude or “healthy withdrawal” increases energy and focus while reducing stress and burnout. With practice, we become more self-aware, which in turn helps us improve other areas. One of my favorite benefits is that it helps deepen relationships with God and others. All of this helps us to live with purpose and avoid living in a constant state of depletion.
Solitude: A Biblical Perspective
Withdrawal isn’t always negative. In fact, Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray and recharge (Luke 5:16, NIV).
Jesus’ Example of healthy withdrawal:
- Taking a step back to refuel and recharge (Mark 6:31)
- Allowing our mind, body, and soul to recover through rest (Mark 2:27 NLT)
- Jesus often went off by himself to desolate places to pray. (Mark 1:35)
Debra reminds us, “It is unhealthy to live in constant depletion.” By practicing solitude, we can live from a place of fullness rather than emptiness, better equipped to serve God and others.
Reflection Question: How can you incorporate solitude into your daily routine this week?
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