Have you ever been in a place where you couldn’t face something? I ✋🏻 surely have!
Just this past week, I woke up like I usually do on a Tuesday. For some reason, a question came to mind. I do not recall why I started thinking about this question or how it came up, but it was there. A few minutes later, I began making a note on my phone. I knew this question might get lost in my morning routine, and I didn’t want it to slip through my mind. After making a note of the question, it led me to another question.
What was the question, you ask?
I couldn’t quite process what I had just written down at the time. The second question went something like this…Why are you trying to prevent bad things from happening?
I wrote down a few more questions and then put away my phone.
While I knew enough to write down these questions, I wasn’t ready to process them yet.
I knew that the implications of my answers were crucial to my brain health. For some reason, I had never been confronted with these specific questions. As I wrote each of them down, I could feel the weight of what each meant in my life.
Later that morning, I looked at my notes again, but they were still too painful. I wanted to bring them to my counselor that morning but couldn’t. The weight of the questions crushed me.
So I put away my phone, knowing there was real healing potential behind those questions. I brought the questions out on Saturday as I was working on our weekly application exercise.
Going over the exercise, I realized I didn’t have an answer to the question. Here is the question…
Write down one hard circumstance from the past 12 months that you’ve avoided dealing with. What emotions, beliefs, or questions has it stirred up in you? What’s one step you can take to face or confront them and begin to heal from that pain?
You see, I didn’t have a circumstance I had been avoiding, which was unusual for me. In the past, I have avoided a lot of circumstances because of fear, anxiety, you name it.
My list of questions was the closest thing, and I knew I had to deal with them. So, on Sunday at 11:30 am, I shared these questions with my community group. It was one of the most vulnerable things I have ever done. I wish I could tell you that heaven opened up and lights shined down on me or that a dove descended, but it didn’t.
Instead, I found a kind group of friends who lovingly helped me walk through the questions.
What about you? Do you have something that you have avoided facing? I would love to hear what you learned through this.
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