0:00:00.160,0:00:04.240
hello everyone and welcome back my name
0:00:02.080,0:00:06.359
is Craig Booker do you often find
0:00:04.240,0:00:08.760
yourself so overwhelmed that you don’t
0:00:06.359,0:00:11.240
know where to begin in today’s
0:00:08.760,0:00:13.679
fast-paced world we’re often pulled in a
0:00:11.240,0:00:16.440
million directions but what if I told
0:00:13.679,0:00:19.560
you that the key to a more fulfilling
0:00:16.440,0:00:21.359
life isn’t doing more it’s doing less
0:00:19.560,0:00:23.760
what if I told you that the secret to a
0:00:21.359,0:00:26.679
happier more fulfilling life is actually
0:00:23.760,0:00:29.119
saying no in this episode we’re
0:00:26.679,0:00:31.679
exploring minimalism and how it relates
0:00:29.119,0:00:34.840
to boundaries and priorities we’ll dig
0:00:31.679,0:00:37.120
into why we often overcommit ourselves
0:00:34.840,0:00:40.120
because we fall into the Trap of saying
0:00:37.120,0:00:43.360
yes when we need to say no if you’re
0:00:40.120,0:00:46.399
ready to break free and learn to live an
0:00:43.360,0:00:50.000
abundant life this episodes for you
0:00:46.399,0:00:52.640
minimalism so what is minimalism
0:00:50.000,0:00:56.039
minimalism is a lifestyle that reduces
0:00:52.640,0:00:58.879
excess and emphasizes intentional living
0:00:56.039,0:01:02.120
it’s a concept that was made famous by
0:00:58.879,0:01:05.479
famous thinkers like Joshua Becker who
0:01:02.120,0:01:09.799
WR wrote becoming Mentalist and The
0:01:05.479,0:01:13.280
Mentalist Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan
0:01:09.799,0:01:15.720
Nicodemus their work often emphasizes
0:01:13.280,0:01:19.799
decluttering both physically and
0:01:15.720,0:01:22.880
mentally to focus on core
0:01:19.799,0:01:25.200
values in her book reset Deborah feda
0:01:22.880,0:01:28.280
talks about a concept called concentrate
0:01:25.200,0:01:31.840
and eliminate this is focusing on what’s
0:01:28.280,0:01:34.200
essential and cutting out the excess it
0:01:31.840,0:01:37.439
helps you prioritize your core values
0:01:34.200,0:01:39.880
like relationships health or goals while
0:01:37.439,0:01:41.200
letting go of distractions unnecessary
0:01:39.880,0:01:44.600
commitments or
0:01:41.200,0:01:47.680
clutter the key benefits are Clarity and
0:01:44.600,0:01:49.560
focus on what matters less stress by
0:01:47.680,0:01:52.640
removing
0:01:49.560,0:01:55.119
non-essentials more time from meaningful
0:01:52.640,0:01:57.960
activities this approach helps Al
0:01:55.119,0:02:01.520
simplify life allowing you to focus on
0:01:57.960,0:02:04.200
what truly brings value and
0:02:01.520,0:02:06.880
fulfillment understanding boundaries
0:02:04.200,0:02:08.920
first up what are boundaries boundaries
0:02:06.880,0:02:09.920
are the line between what’s important
0:02:08.920,0:02:13.120
and what’s
0:02:09.920,0:02:15.879
not uh why do we need boundaries Deborah
0:02:13.120,0:02:18.560
F says that boundaries protect us our
0:02:15.879,0:02:20.599
relationships and our calling the
0:02:18.560,0:02:23.120
problem with overc committing is that
0:02:20.599,0:02:26.040
the more that we say yes the less room
0:02:23.120,0:02:28.959
we leave for what really matters the
0:02:26.040,0:02:34.040
distraction dilemma the story of Martha
0:02:28.959,0:02:37.080
and Mary found in Luke 10: 41 and 42 if
0:02:34.040,0:02:40.200
you recall we look back at our last
0:02:37.080,0:02:42.360
episode we saw that Jesus was teaching
0:02:40.200,0:02:45.120
Martha that there were a few things that
0:02:42.360,0:02:48.159
were worth her attention Mary Martha’s
0:02:45.120,0:02:50.000
sister had found what really mattered
0:02:48.159,0:02:52.760
and she wouldn’t let all the
0:02:50.000,0:02:55.720
distractions pull her away from spending
0:02:52.760,0:02:58.519
time with Jesus minimalism and
0:02:55.720,0:03:00.599
prioritization let’s talk about life’s
0:02:58.519,0:03:03.519
priorities imagine imagine that you’re
0:03:00.599,0:03:06.640
given some rocks Pebbles and a pile of
0:03:03.519,0:03:09.440
sand then you’re asked to fill an empty
0:03:06.640,0:03:11.519
jar the goal here is to get all of the
0:03:09.440,0:03:15.280
elements into the
0:03:11.519,0:03:18.720
jar keep in mind that how you complete
0:03:15.280,0:03:21.720
this task matters and the order Matters
0:03:18.720,0:03:25.000
by filling the Rocks first followed by
0:03:21.720,0:03:27.840
the Pebbles and last pouring in the sand
0:03:25.000,0:03:31.599
it will fill in all the extra
0:03:27.840,0:03:32.519
crevices this is an analogy for life and
0:03:31.599,0:03:36.360
our
0:03:32.519,0:03:39.239
priorities the Rocks here they symbolize
0:03:36.360,0:03:42.040
the essentials the Pebbles they
0:03:39.239,0:03:45.319
symbolize the important things and the
0:03:42.040,0:03:47.959
sand are all the extras in our lives
0:03:45.319,0:03:49.959
this illustration is all about our
0:03:47.959,0:03:52.840
priorities and
0:03:49.959,0:03:55.640
boundaries books like essentialism by
0:03:52.840,0:03:58.599
Greg mchan explore how setting
0:03:55.640,0:04:01.159
boundaries and focusing on what matters
0:03:58.599,0:04:04.519
most is an essential part of living a
0:04:01.159,0:04:07.680
simplified and productive life which
0:04:04.519,0:04:10.560
parallels the principles of minimalism
0:04:07.680,0:04:14.120
let’s talk about the root of saying yes
0:04:10.560,0:04:18.280
many of us overcommit ourselves because
0:04:14.120,0:04:20.919
we say yes when we really need to say no
0:04:18.280,0:04:24.400
often this stems from emotional and
0:04:20.919,0:04:26.520
psychological factors like the desire
0:04:24.400,0:04:29.120
for approval this is fear of
0:04:26.520,0:04:32.000
disapproving disappointing others or
0:04:29.120,0:04:36.199
needing Val validation can make us say
0:04:32.000,0:04:38.759
yes to gain acceptance next is guilt and
0:04:36.199,0:04:41.520
obligation feeling responsible for
0:04:38.759,0:04:44.160
others happiness or success can push us
0:04:41.520,0:04:47.720
to agree even at our own
0:04:44.160,0:04:50.440
expense next is fear of conflict we
0:04:47.720,0:04:52.960
avoid confrontation or rejection which
0:04:50.440,0:04:56.039
leads to agreeing even when we don’t
0:04:52.960,0:04:58.680
want to all right we have belief that
0:04:56.039,0:05:01.080
more equals better we tie our self-worth
0:04:58.680,0:05:04.479
to productivity thinking doing more
0:05:01.080,0:05:07.680
makes us more valuable and then fixer
0:05:04.479,0:05:10.560
mentality wanting to be the hero or
0:05:07.680,0:05:14.280
Problem Solver can lead to overcommit
0:05:10.560,0:05:16.160
and last a lack of boundaries we say yes
0:05:14.280,0:05:19.479
because we’re uncomfortable setting
0:05:16.160,0:05:22.919
boundaries or unaware of our own
0:05:19.479,0:05:25.560
limitations you see to break this habit
0:05:22.919,0:05:29.120
we have to recognize the root we have to
0:05:25.560,0:05:33.280
reframe our value Beyond productivity
0:05:29.120,0:05:36.240
and practice saying no to protect our
0:05:33.280,0:05:39.120
priorities and our well-being saying no
0:05:36.240,0:05:41.720
and boundaries the connection between
0:05:39.120,0:05:44.160
minimalism and saying no comes from the
0:05:41.720,0:05:47.600
idea that minimalism isn’t just about
0:05:44.160,0:05:50.560
possessions it’s also about simplifying
0:05:47.600,0:05:54.800
mental clutter and overc commitment
0:05:50.560,0:05:58.400
books like the joy of less by Francine J
0:05:54.800,0:06:00.160
and Mary condo’s work on decluttering
0:05:58.400,0:06:04.680
both emphasize
0:06:00.160,0:06:08.199
this aspect saying no as a minimalist
0:06:04.680,0:06:11.360
act Deborah F’s book emphasizes saying
0:06:08.199,0:06:14.960
no to distractions and obligations that
0:06:11.360,0:06:16.960
don’t serve our higher purpose it it’s a
0:06:14.960,0:06:19.720
core tenant of
0:06:16.960,0:06:22.960
minimalism in a minimalist lifestyle
0:06:19.720,0:06:26.759
saying no allows us to reclaim time
0:06:22.960,0:06:28.720
energy and space for what truly matters
0:06:26.759,0:06:31.800
whether it’s relationships personal
0:06:28.720,0:06:34.960
goals or spiritual growth eliminate the
0:06:31.800,0:06:37.599
excess the theme of purging unnecessary
0:06:34.960,0:06:39.759
commitments to focus on Essentials
0:06:37.599,0:06:43.240
relates to the minimalist idea of
0:06:39.759,0:06:46.880
eliminating distractions a great source
0:06:43.240,0:06:49.199
on this topic is Cal newport’s book deep
0:06:46.880,0:06:51.520
work which talks about eliminating
0:06:49.199,0:06:54.639
excess to allow for deep focus on
0:06:51.520,0:06:56.879
meaningful work deor feda talks about
0:06:54.639,0:06:59.840
purging the things from our lives to
0:06:56.879,0:07:02.479
make room for the essentials this speaks
0:06:59.840,0:07:05.360
to the concept uh found in
0:07:02.479,0:07:07.560
minimalism uh of practice of
0:07:05.360,0:07:10.160
decluttering whether it’s removing
0:07:07.560,0:07:13.400
unnecessary objects from your home or
0:07:10.160,0:07:17.160
saying no to commitments that drain you
0:07:13.400,0:07:19.840
both minimalism and Deborah’s book reset
0:07:17.160,0:07:22.240
advocate for cutting out what doesn’t
0:07:19.840,0:07:24.879
serve a greater purpose the Abundant
0:07:22.240,0:07:27.440
Life you may say Craig all of this is
0:07:24.879,0:07:30.199
great but where is it leading me and
0:07:27.440,0:07:34.479
this is where I answer that question
0:07:30.199,0:07:37.000
to me living the Abundant Life is what
0:07:34.479,0:07:39.039
this is all about uh leing living an
0:07:37.000,0:07:41.919
abundant life means experiencing
0:07:39.039,0:07:43.360
fullness in all areas spiritually
0:07:41.919,0:07:46.039
emotionally and
0:07:43.360,0:07:48.360
relationally it’s not about accumulating
0:07:46.039,0:07:51.440
things but focusing on quality
0:07:48.360,0:07:53.800
experiences meaningful relationships and
0:07:51.440,0:07:56.840
gratitude for what you have some key
0:07:53.800,0:07:59.720
elements to this are purpose which is
0:07:56.840,0:08:02.759
align your actions with your core values
0:07:59.720,0:08:06.240
it’s contentment it’s appreciating the
0:08:02.759,0:08:08.120
present rather than seeking more it’s
0:08:06.240,0:08:09.919
setting healthy boundaries it’s
0:08:08.120,0:08:12.960
protecting your time and energy by
0:08:09.919,0:08:15.520
setting limits it’s balance it’s having
0:08:12.960,0:08:19.039
rest and avoiding burnout allowing space
0:08:15.520,0:08:21.080
for Joy it’s also generosity it’s
0:08:19.039,0:08:23.240
serving others and adding meaning to
0:08:21.080,0:08:25.960
your life you see Abundant Living is
0:08:23.240,0:08:28.560
about living with intentionality
0:08:25.960,0:08:31.360
gratitude and purpose creating a life
0:08:28.560,0:08:33.880
rich and meaning and connection all
0:08:31.360,0:08:36.039
right it’s time that we take action we
0:08:33.880,0:08:39.159
need to set healthy
0:08:36.039,0:08:42.000
boundaries we’re going to do an exercise
0:08:39.159,0:08:44.880
that comes from Deborah fet’s book reset
0:08:42.000,0:08:47.920
to help us apply what we’ve learned
0:08:44.880,0:08:50.399
number one is list the things that fall
0:08:47.920,0:08:54.839
into the following categories in your
0:08:50.399,0:08:57.160
own life so this is applying the analogy
0:08:54.839,0:08:59.839
of the Rocks Pebbles and sand so the
0:08:57.160,0:09:01.760
rocks are the essentials the Pebbles are
0:08:59.839,0:09:03.760
the important and the sand are the
0:09:01.760,0:09:06.640
extras so we’re going to list the things
0:09:03.760,0:09:09.839
that fall into these categories number
0:09:06.640,0:09:12.480
two is how has a lack of
0:09:09.839,0:09:15.519
prioritizing negatively affected your
0:09:12.480,0:09:17.760
life what important things end up
0:09:15.519,0:09:20.040
suffering when your priorities get out
0:09:17.760,0:09:22.040
of sync number three is what does it
0:09:20.040,0:09:25.160
look like to eliminate the excess from
0:09:22.040,0:09:28.079
your life and schedule to make room for
0:09:25.160,0:09:30.600
the essentials list three ways you can
0:09:28.079,0:09:32.839
do that in the coming weeks
0:09:30.600,0:09:35.360
number four is what is the root of your
0:09:32.839,0:09:37.880
yes write down the areas where you
0:09:35.360,0:09:40.399
struggle to say no and then write down
0:09:37.880,0:09:43.760
the underlying thoughts and beliefs that
0:09:40.399,0:09:45.440
might be contributing to each one so my
0:09:43.760,0:09:47.200
goal here is that hopefully you’ll
0:09:45.440,0:09:49.920
listen through this the first time and
0:09:47.200,0:09:53.079
then you’ll pause it you’ll rewind it
0:09:49.920,0:09:55.279
and get out your Journal maybe open your
0:09:53.079,0:09:57.920
notes app on your phone and go through
0:09:55.279,0:10:02.040
these one by one all right our verse for
0:09:57.920,0:10:04.680
reflection this week comes from Luke 10:
0:10:02.040,0:10:06.560
41-42 it says Martha Martha the Lord
0:10:04.680,0:10:08.760
answered you were worried and upset
0:10:06.560,0:10:12.200
about many things but few things are
0:10:08.760,0:10:14.480
needed or indeed only one Mary has
0:10:12.200,0:10:17.160
chosen what is better and it will not be
0:10:14.480,0:10:19.720
taken away from her let’s recap what
0:10:17.160,0:10:22.040
we’ve learned in this episode we discuss
0:10:19.720,0:10:24.519
minimalism and how it relates to
0:10:22.040,0:10:26.680
boundaries we got down to the root of
0:10:24.519,0:10:29.320
why we always say yes when we need to
0:10:26.680,0:10:31.720
say no we explored how setting bound
0:10:29.320,0:10:33.440
boundaries can lead to an abundant life
0:10:31.720,0:10:35.440
all right now keep in mind that
0:10:33.440,0:10:38.240
abundance is about living with
0:10:35.440,0:10:40.800
intentionality gratitude and purpose
0:10:38.240,0:10:43.600
creating a life rich in meaning and
0:10:40.800,0:10:46.800
connection by learning to say no we
0:10:43.600,0:10:49.440
create space for what really matters by
0:10:46.800,0:10:52.079
saying no to the extra unnecessary
0:10:49.440,0:10:55.800
things we set ourselves up for a richer
0:10:52.079,0:10:55.800
more meaningful life
