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Hello and welcome to The Overflow Podcast. My name is Craig Booker. The title of this episode
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is Strategic Habits – Start Stop or Pivot. A lot of the
material for this week’s episode
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was inspired by Pastor Craig Rochelle’s book The Power to
Change Mastering the Habits that Matter Most.
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Note: I will talk a lot about mental health but
please note this is not a substitute for therapy
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or mental health care. I am not a counselor or
a physician if you need help with mental health
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challenges please find a qualified mental health
professional. One thing to note this chapter in his
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book is titled, Your Habit and a Plot Twist. That’s fine, I just adapted it for what I believe is more
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appropriate for mental health and that’s
why I changed the title for our purposes
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but it’s very similar to what he lists just want
to make that clear where I’m at and what in the
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book in case you’re trying to read or follow
along at some point all right what habits do
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you need to start stop or pivot to reach your goal
like whatever that is that’s a question I’ll start
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with and it’ll make more sense as I get going
often when we try to implement positive change
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in our mental health we fail because we take a
trying approach we attempt to change by exerting
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effort in the moment based on our previous
episodes or we know that trying often leads
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to failure or burnout and we must Implement a
training approach that requires discipline to
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reach our goals that’s a summary of several weeks
it’s not all that simple I’m just trying to give
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a high level view of things that we’ve learned
we’ve talked about the differences between trying
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and training and I won’t go into detail about that
but you can go back to YouTube and review those if
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you’d like this week we’re going to talk talking
about strategic habits you know a big part of the
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process of us trying to improve ourselves
is not just exerting effort in the moment
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um so a big part of this process is identifying
strategic habits that will lead us to our goal I
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may have a goal of ultimately trying to get better
sleep reduce my anxiety so I’m trying to improve
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the quality of my sleep with a long-term objective
of lowering my anxiety if that’s the context right
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my strategic habit might be trying to go to bed
at 10 pm every night right and that may be my
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strategic habit that’s just an example and every
night I’m going to do my best to get there by 10
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pm and so that’s the Habit the goal is I want
to reduce my anxiety by improving my sleep but
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a lot of times we like we set a goal and it’s it
seems real big and far off in the distance and it
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is any goal that we set should require why are a
lot of us right it should be a big step or we’re
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probably playing it safe a little bit so if I’m
trying to reduce my anxiety and I’m going to try
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to do that by getting better sleep my strategic
habit may start off as simple as I’m going to do
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my best to get to bed by 10 pm every night and
I’m gonna get up at the same time every morning
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maybe that’s 7 A.M so maybe that’s my strategic
habit I’m just trying to do that every day as
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much as I can so you know this will apply to any
other situation you just got to figure out what
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your your big overarching goal is we have to learn
how we know when we reach that goal and we talked
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about that as defining our win that’s how we know
when we’re being successful but we also need the
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steps between here and our goal to get us there
and that’s our strategic habit and usually in what
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Pastor Craig says in his book is you know to focus
on one don’t try to do everything all at once or
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you’ll get exhausted or tired or experienced
burnout and you just won’t get anywhere you’ll
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just end up frustrated start simple and do one
right and he talks about habits start and stop
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if we’re starting a habit it’s something new
and so that’s why we don’t want to start in
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most cases multiple new habits at once because
we’ll spread ourselves too thin and we’ll burn
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out so we may start one which mine in that case
might be getting to bed by 10 pm getting up by 7
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A.M every day and so that’s the one that I want to
start so that’s my example for this we’ll use that
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here but you know sometimes it’s a big part of it
is just identifying what these strategic habits
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are for our situation what habits are going to
help us get to our end goal and sometimes that’s
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not easy sometimes it’s really plain and simple
depending on your goal but sometimes it takes a
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little bit to figure those out and so sometimes we
might believe that a particular habit is going to
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get us to our goal but after we start it and and
start working through that habit it just doesn’t
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work it’s not going to get us to our goal and
we finally see that once we start doing it so I
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talked about start the Strategic habits that will
lead us to our goal are not always obvious when it
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comes to mental health what works for someone
else might not work for another person this
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can easily paralyze a person especially if you’ve
tried something and it fails and just after that
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you may relate to this that feeling that you have
you’re just really just I don’t know it’s like you
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want to grip something you just don’t want to try
something right now you don’t feel safe sometimes
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we have to start somewhere and be willing to make
adjustments until we find the solution that works
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for us this is stuff that I’ve added that was not
in his book let me be clear about this okay his
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book is really pretty straightforward on all this
material but this is specifically about mental
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health and like I said what works for you know
your friend or your cousin or whoever may not work
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for you and you shouldn’t be discouraged when that
happens you know someone would tell me and they
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would say oh so and so tried this and it really
worked for them for their anxiety and I would go
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off and try whatever it was and it would just fail
miserably and I would feel like there’s something
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wrong with me and that’s just not true it just
doesn’t work for everybody so I made adjustments
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to this material to add this in because it’s
really important because you can get really
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discouraged we’re also going to work on something
that we’re going to stop like we’re going to stop
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a habit that we’re doing right now that’s not
helping us quote from Craig Rochelle what do you
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most need to stop doing to have what you want most
and I apply this to mental health this material
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is so broad it can apply to a lot of areas there
there are typically many things we know we need
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to stop doing when it comes to mental health
challenges we have habits that will not lead
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us to our end goal if we aim to get more sleep
staying up past 11 pm won’t be a helpful habit if
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our goal is to reduce anxiety ruminating or just
just of Cecily going over all of the worst case
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scenarios in our life are not going to help us
find peace these are habits that I’ve seen in my
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life and that’s why I’m pointing them out that are
not helpful they’re not going to help me get there
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if my goal is to reduce my anxiety and if my if
I’m going to do that through sleep staying up to
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all hours of the night are really going to make it
difficult for me to reach my goal I’m typically a
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nighttime person and so that’s very easy for me to
do my brain kind of wakes up at night time and I
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just kind of see it as this time when people in my
you know my household are asleep and it’s peaceful
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and I can get more done or I can watch the show
I want to watch on TV whatever it is right but
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that does not help me towards my goal it’s really
difficult and it requires discipline for me to say
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I’m gonna go to bed and get in bed at a certain
time if my stop goal is I’m going to stop staying
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up past 11 pm that would be a stop that I’m gonna
try to do to help me you move forward okay so we
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have our start and maybe my start I said was
going to go to bed by 10 pm and get up at 7
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A.M so we have that and we have the stop which is
stop staying up past 11 p.m so on you know on the
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weekends it’s kind of tempting to stay up a little
bit later at least for me but everything that I’ve
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read is that I need to keep a consistent sleep
schedule that means that Friday and Saturday I’m
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going to bed at very similar time as my weekdays
that’s a little bit of a challenge for me so if
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we’re gonna I talk about in the notes reducing
Baseline anxiety level by getting more sleep I
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believe I’ve talked in the past it wasn’t on video
about Baseline anxiety levels and so I want to be
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clear on what that means Baseline anxiety level
we all have it and this is my idea this is not
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Pastor Craig this is not someone else I’ve read I
just came up with this over years of dealing with
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fear and anxiety so Baseline anxiety level is the
level of anxiety that’s kind of under my skin all
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throughout the day just how I’m feeling at the
moment sometimes I I communicate this to my wife
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so she understands hey my Baseline anxiety is
really high right now so if I communicate that
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with her she knows that if she tries to ask
something of me that causes my anxiety she’s
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probably not gonna get the response she wants you
know our Baseline anxiety level there are a lot
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of things that goes in you know what that level
is and a part of that is how much sleep and the
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quality of sleep you get every day and I’ve talked
about this but it’s new information for several
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so I want to make sure and capture this and not
just throw a term out there and not explain myself
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Baseline anxiety level like I said is what you’re
feeling kind of underneath the surface throughout
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your day it can be affected by the quality of your
sleep or the amount of sleep it can be affected by
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what you eat or drink could be affected by events
that are going on in your life you can’t largely
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control those events can’t stop doing life
but there are things that you can do to affect
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your Baseline anxiety level and sleep is one of
the biggest ones you know sometimes like if my
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Baseline anxiety level gets really high during the
day I can do things to lower that like get outside
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and take a walk I can do things like maybe read a
book maybe write my thoughts in a journal there’s
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a lot of things that you can do to lower that my
goal is reducing Baseline anxiety level by getting
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more sleep my Habit to start you know hear my
notes I said maybe I’m going to keep a basic sleep
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log to monitor the amount and quality of my sleep
I’ve actually been doing this I’m not just using
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this as an example could say I’ve been in training
for my sleep probably almost two years now trying
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to improve I’ve been in training and I’ve been
looking at this and I use different tools to
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track my sleep every night and then I you know I
look at it the next day I keep it in my journal
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and over time I can look at things I can look
at this data data and it helps me make decisions
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about my health so this is not something I mean
you can start it and I’ve recommended several
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people to do it for a few weeks because it’s a big
commitment something like this where you have like
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maybe a journal or notepad where you keep note of
when you went to bed when you got up how you felt
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quality of your sleep did you toss and turn all
night that’s the idea here that my Habit to stop
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I said was staying up past 11 each night so these
are the practical examples of start stop and pivot
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pivot I said the Sleep log was not working because
I did not allow enough extra time in the morning
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in my morning routine and I put it off until later
in the day by the time I got to it I would forget
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the details my Pivot was to get up 10 minutes
earlier to allow plenty of time in my morning
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routine giving myself more time in the morning so
I can accomplish this sleep log now you’re like
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okay that seems kind of counterproductive you’re
trying to get more sleep but you’re going to get
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up earlier to kind of offset this I may have to go
to bed 10 minutes earlier but this is my example
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in this example trying to do a basic sleep log
every day and I tried to do it and I just kept
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getting frustrated because I would be rushed in
the morning because I was sleepy trying to get
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ready for my day I didn’t get it done I forgot
to get it done I felt shame for not doing it put
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it off till later in my day and then when I sit
down to do it later in my day I don’t remember the
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times or how I felt and you can see how this could
lead to shame discouragement but it’s wrong all I
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need to do is Pivot and you know you may figure
out that what you start with doesn’t quite work
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and you need to adjust it to see what works and
that’s what this pivot is we’re going to identify
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a start habit a stop habit and then sometimes
we’re going to need to Pivot Ecclesiastes 7 8 says
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the end of the matter is better than its beginning
and patience is better than Pride under pivot some
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times a person is taking positive steps to reach
a goal but they they’re not working does this mean
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that we need to start from scratch no sometimes
we misunderstand everything that’s that needs to
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occur to reach our particular goal we start a
habit but maybe go about it the wrong way and
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that’s when it’s just time to Pivot and according
to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary a pivot is an
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adjustment or modification made as to a product
service or strategy in order to adapt or improve
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and that’s what we’re looking to do we’re looking
to adapt and improve Define what works sometimes
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we try to improve our mental health and the ideas
we Implement fall flap and that’s where I say that
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it’s easy to get discouraged it’s easy to lose our
motivation and we can’t do this in our own power
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we can’t good luck if you can more power to you I
can’t and I bet more people are like me than the
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people that have it all together and can do it on
their own so we’re going to need seek God for his
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strength and his power to keep going at this as
we’re going through our training and we’re trying
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this new habit we’re trying to stop other habits
we’re making adjustments when we pivot we’re gonna
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need to seek God through this whole process God
this is not working show me new ideas to try in
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this scenario that may improve what I’m trying
to accomplish God I’m just out of strength I I
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just don’t want to do this anymore these are real
conversations that I hope you’re having with God
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when you’re going through this process because
he can handle it he wants us to find Freedom he
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doesn’t want us to stay stuck where we’re at
so he welcomes these conversations the start
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stop and pivot process can be tricky when we’re
aiming for certain outcomes we know that behavior
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modification alone won’t lead to anything lasting
any lasting changes in our mental health lasting
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changes require personal transformation this
transformation comes through realizing who we
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want to become not merely fixing behave behaviors
this content is a summary of what Pastor Greg
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talks about okay we’re not going to make just
surface level changes we’re going to become who
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God is calling us to be we talked about our who
not do that’s what Pastor Craig refers it refers
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to it as is we’re going to focus on who we’re
becoming not just what we’re trying to do what
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frequently happens is we want certain life changes
so we we set a goal and try hard to make it happen
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when things don’t happen the way we want them to
or as fast as we want them to we get discouraged
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and quit we try again later only to remember our
past failures and the cycle continues and often
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results in a person believing this is just who I
am this is how I’m going to be for the rest of my
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life I’ve said that to myself because I felt these
things I’ve gone at it this way we know that using
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a trying approach is exerting effort at the moment
is not enough before we try to make change in our
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life we need to consider the cost and Now setting
a goal is easy when we compare it to what it will
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take to reach that goal our brains are wired to
crave a win or some sort of sense of achievement
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and for example if you’re a person that likes to
keep lists like to track things they need to do
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you probably feel some sort of satisfaction as you
check those tasks off your list for you the win is
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marking an item off your list like something
happens in your brain you get a little hit of
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dopamine when you mark something off your list
and you’re like oh that feels so good to mark
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that off my list likewise we need that reward
when we’re trying going through this habit and
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our goal seems way out there in the distance
we need these little rewards along the way so
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we can keep going I don’t know about you but I
need that I need to see that I’m making progress
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that things are changing because what I’m doing is
hard so we we have to figure out what our win is
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and you know when we’re talking about okay we have
our goal and our goal seems way out there in the
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future and so we’re creating this strategic habit
and we need those short-term wins as we get closer
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to our goal what this looks like is we make doing
our habit our win and this is something Pastor
0:17:02.160,0:17:07.860
Craig talks about in his book he says make doing
your habit your win and you can win every day if
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we focus just merely on the outcomes right like
reducing for me reducing anxiety if I just focus
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on that that’s really far out there and it’s
going to take me a long time to get there but
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I can do my habit today and that’s a win and I
can feel that sense of achievement by completing
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my habit because what I what we know is that if
you keep doing your habit then eventually you’ll
0:17:30.660,0:17:36.060
get to your goal said when shiny things grow dull
one of the most challenging things about reaching
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a goal is like the time between setting the goal
crossing the Finish Line specifically it’s right
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after that new newness wears off right you set
the goal you come up with this habit you’re all
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really excited about the new routine and about
the progress you’re gonna make you start doing
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that habit for a little while the newness starts
to wear off it’s not quite as shiny as it was and
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attractive as it was anymore because you haven’t
seen any positive results yet so you’re just doing
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all of these extra things that are really hard and
you’re not seeing any progress yet and it’s really
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difficult this is when it’s really easy to quit
you know if you’re you’re trying to get in better
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shape or lose weight this is when most people quit
the routine is no longer new it’s not exciting you
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forget why maybe you started this it’s like I’m
just gonna sleep in today Pastor Craig says you
0:18:25.740,0:18:31.260
win when you make doing your habit your win if you
make doing the Habit your win you can win every
0:18:31.260,0:18:37.080
day so the goals that we’re setting are far off in
the future they’re kind of out there they’re lofty
0:18:37.080,0:18:42.420
goals when it comes to our mental health it really
seems lofty to say I’m going to reduce my anxiety
0:18:42.420,0:18:47.640
because you may have lived with this anxiety for
years and so it seems big it seems challenging
0:18:47.640,0:18:55.020
so if we you know set up these strategic habits
we make doing our habit our our win we can feel
0:18:55.020,0:19:00.900
that sense of achievement every day or every time
we’re completing that habit I listed in the notes
0:19:00.900,0:19:08.340
and exercise this exercise kind of goes back to
earlier in my notes where I listed uh something
0:19:08.340,0:19:15.300
a goal a habit to start a habit to stop and then
a pivot here’s just another example that Craig
0:19:15.300,0:19:21.060
Rochelle provided in his book maybe your goal is
get closer to God the Habit to start is read the
0:19:21.060,0:19:27.000
Bible daily or attend a small group Bible study
Habit to stop is hitting snooze in the morning
0:19:27.000,0:19:33.360
or or planning things on the weekend that prevent
Church attendance so the pivot here is let’s say
0:19:33.360,0:19:38.760
I’ve tried all these things I was not finding
success trying to read my Bible in the kitchen
0:19:38.760,0:19:44.760
during breakfast time maybe there’s too much
noise kids are going around maybe you have a
0:19:44.760,0:19:49.860
spouse that’s walking around it’s just hard too
hard to focus maybe instead my Pivot will be I’ll
0:19:49.860,0:19:55.200
move outside to my porch and sit on my porch where
it’s quieter where I can hopefully focus better
0:19:55.200,0:20:01.260
and see if that makes the difference okay so this
exercise is just identifying your goal your Habit
0:20:01.260,0:20:06.540
to start your Habit to stop and if that doesn’t
work down the line recognizing when you need to
0:20:06.540,0:20:11.040
Pivot don’t just keep doing it if it’s not working
that’s probably one of the worst things you can do
0:20:11.040,0:20:17.160
is if you recognize this stuff is not working
make changes so that’s the exercise feel free
0:20:17.160,0:20:21.840
to do that on your own time during your week if
you want to communicate that with me I would love
0:20:21.840,0:20:26.640
to hear it over email feel free if you want to
share it with me and talk about it happy to do
0:20:26.640,0:20:32.220
so but that is the exercise and you can do this as
many times as you need for whatever you’re trying
0:20:32.220,0:20:38.100
to change also it says complete the following
sentence when I have an off day or a time when
0:20:38.100,0:20:46.020
I don’t win I commit to do blank to stay on track
so we’re going through this process with these new
0:20:46.020,0:20:51.120
habits what do I do failed to do my habit one
thing you could do is tell an accountability
0:20:51.120,0:20:56.340
partner so you don’t miss more than one day maybe
today you have a bad day you get up everything’s
0:20:56.340,0:21:01.920
hectic you’re trying to read the Bible but
it’s really noisy in the kitchen because kids
0:21:01.920,0:21:07.080
are trying to get off to school or whatever the
situation is you don’t read your Bible you can’t
0:21:07.080,0:21:11.940
focus and you just feel like a failure like what
do you do if you don’t want tomorrow to be the
0:21:11.940,0:21:16.500
same tile your accountability partner maybe they
can send you a text message in the morning maybe
0:21:16.500,0:21:21.900
they can text you the night before maybe they
pray for you and they text in a prayer to you
0:21:21.900,0:21:27.240
so the principle for this chapter is make doing
your habit your win right you don’t have to win
0:21:27.240,0:21:33.180
every day to win Ecclesiastes 7 8 the end of the
matter is better than its beginning and patience
0:21:33.180,0:21:39.000
is better than Pride I mentioned here you don’t
have to win every day to win Greg Rochelle goes in
0:21:39.000,0:21:45.780
detail here that it’s not about being per perfect
it’s not about perfectly performing your habit or
0:21:45.780,0:21:52.980
this process it’s about doing it consistently so
if you’re doing your habit more days each week
0:21:52.980,0:21:58.620
then you’re not you’re winning say you do your
habit four days a week but three days it just
0:21:58.620,0:22:03.540
doesn’t happen you’re winning you see that because
if you’re anything like me you would see that as
0:22:03.540,0:22:09.000
failure man I didn’t do this habit three days this
week and you might start talking negatively to
0:22:09.000,0:22:14.340
yourself because that’s what we tend to do and
it’s easy to get caught up in that and quit so
0:22:14.340,0:22:20.040
this is a little bit of a perspective shift if
we’re doing our habit more times each week than
0:22:20.040,0:22:25.800
we’re not we’re winning every time we do our habit
we’re winning we have to change our perspective I
0:22:25.800,0:22:32.820
have to change my perspective I hope that you can
see the shift there it’s not about doing every
0:22:32.820,0:22:37.200
day perfect because I don’t know anybody that’s
going to be able to do that it’s about progress
0:22:37.200,0:22:42.300
can you see that what I’m presenting here is
really hard I don’t want to gloss over that
0:22:42.300,0:22:47.160
you know this is really hard stuff that’s all
for this episode thank you for watching if you
0:22:47.160,0:22:51.660
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