I Can’t

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Hello and welcome to The Overflow Podcast. My name
is Craig Booker. The title of this week’s

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episode is I Can’t. A lot of the material for this
week’s episode was inspired by Craig Groechel’s

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book The Power to Change Mastering the Habits
that Matter Most. Note: I will talk a lot about

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mental health but please note this is not a
substitute for therapy or mental health care

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I am not a counselor or a physician if you need
help with mental health challenges please find

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a qualified mental health professional the title
of this week’s episode is I can’t we’ve been deep

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in this study on the power to change we just
finished section four of Craig Rochelle’s book

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we’re starting section five and this section
was titled God’s power not willpower taking a

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deep dive into habits and a lot of us have been
working through starting new habits trying to

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maybe eliminate some old unhealthy habits and so
a lot of us should be kind of in the thick of this

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trying to make changes and we’re we’re rounding
out the last section of Craig Rochelle’s book

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and we’re talking about the importance of tapping
into God’s power and not relying on Willpower so

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Craig Rochelle begins this section of the book
by telling a really funny story about a 35 year

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old woman in ness Kansas who got stuck sitting on
the toilet for two years and she sat there so long

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that her skin started to grow around the toilet
seat which is really gross uh but really funny

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too uh and it it said that her boyfriend brought
her food and water each day and would ask her to

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come out every day and each day her response
was the same and it would say maybe tomorrow

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and you know I I think to some extent we have
all been that woman we have all gotten stuck in

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different capacities thinking that maybe tomorrow
will be different you know regardless of what

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that is in our lives maybe we’re not sitting on a
toilet for sure but you know we’ve been stuck in a

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situation where we hope it would change we wish it
would change we want it to change but we just find

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ourselves day after day stuck in the same place so
you know this could be some examples you could be

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feeling stuck in a job that you hate you could
be stuck spiritually hoping to take things to

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the next level in your walk with God and maybe
you’re overweight and in poor shape and you’re

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stuck in that pattern of unhealthy habits and you
wish it to change or you’re desperately wanting

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to stop yelling at your kids and have a better
relationship with them maybe you want to spend

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more quality time with your spouse and really get
back to dating your spouse and and you just don’t

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know how to make it happen and so that you know
the big question we have is how do we get unstuck

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how do we get stuck how you know we’re kind of
wanting to make these changes but for one reason

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or another we can’t seem to get out of the pattern
that we’re in and that’s kind of the focus I guess

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of this section that we’re talking about is how
do we make those changes how do we get unstuck

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um and you know after this story Craig Groechel
goes into talking about let’s take a look at the

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story of Paul many of you might be familiar with
the story of Paul uh in his journey about for

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just for context he was a Jew he was Jewish and
strongly against Christianity and following Jesus

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like early on in his life like he was starchly
against it he was persecuting Christians you know

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I here I put he went from persecuting Christians
to being a pastor and so you know not to get too

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much into the thick of a story but a lot of the
Christians that were following Jesus in the way of

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Jesus were scared of Paul when he started coming
around and acting and and doing things the pastor

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would do because they knew of his history of
how he persecuted and uh tortured Christians

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and so we’re gonna read from Romans chapter 7
verses 15 through 24 of the New Living Translation

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and so this is Paul’s account in in this section
it says I don’t really understand myself for

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I want to do what is right but I don’t do it
instead I do what I hate but if I know that what

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I am doing is wrong this shows that I agree that
the law is good so I am not the one doing wrong

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it is sin living in me that does so this is you
know this first section this is Paul’s struggle

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with sin and trying to make changes so he’s really
a great example of someone that’s trying to make

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changes in his life that we can draw from uh
continuing on it says and I know that nothing

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good lives in me that is in my sinful nature
I want to do what is right but I can’t I want

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to do what is good but I don’t I don’t want to do
what is wrong but I do it anyway but if I do what

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I don’t want to do I am not really the one doing
wrong it is sin living in me that does it uh it

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says I have discovered this principle of life that
when I want to do what is right I inevitably do

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what is wrong I love God’s law with all my heart
but there is another power within me that is at

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war with my mind the power this power makes me a
slave to the sin that is still Within Me Oh What

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a miserable person I am who will free me from
this life that is dominated by sin and death

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so here you know Paul’s account we can really see
the struggle that he’s going through and just how

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miserable he is in this process of trying
to make changes uh to be more like Christ

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um so it’s just a great parallel to what we are
doing in our lives as we try to make changes

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uh let’s see here I have uh it says we can all
relate to Paul because he was confessing that

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he was dying inside Paul wanted to do what God
wanted but he was stuck in patterns of sin and

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wrong thinking bad habits and addictive behavior
he had tried and tried and nothing had worked

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so you know as I was saying Paul’s story is
so relatable and relevant to what many of us

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are today and you may Wonder or think why was
Paul stuck uh and then again you know we have

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to ask why do we get stuck uh and here’s what
we’ve learned okay from our study so far it

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says it could be we put do before who so we’re
putting what we’re doing before who we’re becoming

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uh we try instead of train we hope for change
instead of starting and stopping the right and

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wrong habits we do occasionally what we should
do consistently these are all lessons that we’ve

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built on throughout the study and these are you
know putting them into perspective of why we may

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be stuck Craig Rochelle says we stay stuck because
we rely on Willpower instead of God’s power in his

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book it says the problem with my situation and and
probably your situation is we mistakenly believe

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that we can do it that we can on our own make
the change that we want to see in our lives and

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the truth is is that we can’t you might say now
wait a minute Craig this is not very motivating I

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mean you’re not really helping me feel encouraged
Lifting me up this is really kind of a downer and

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just bear with me I’m going somewhere with this
that I know the truth hurts sometimes to hear but

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I I really am getting somewhere so just bear with
me it says far too long you and I go about trying

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to do something in our own power and maybe you’re
trying to quit a bad habit and you say to yourself

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I can quit whenever I want you know we’ve all
heard that person when they’re confronted with

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their bad habits or lifestyle and someone says
well why don’t you quit this and they say well I

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can quit whenever I want and you know you probably
heard that from someone they believe they can stop

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whatever they’re doing at any time and tell me if
this Rings true for you maybe you aren’t trying to

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quit something maybe you’re trying to lose weight
or get in shape you insist you could lose those

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extra pounds if you tried after giving it your
best for 28 days you you lost a lousy two pounds

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so Friday night you decide you deserve a nice
meal after working hard all week and Saturday

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morning rolls around and you hit snooze thinking
I’ve gone to the gym regularly for 28 days I can

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sleep in a little and suddenly you find yourself
back into that old routine I mean you did really

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well you lasted 28 days right you know maybe
you’re you’re not trying to lose weight but

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hopefully you can relate to this scenario is that
you try really hard for a good amount of time

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and then one thing leads to another
one you know one time you’re justifying

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you know I deserve just a little bit of reward
for my hard work and then the next thing you know

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you’re back into your old habits so the question
is what do we do like we’re all trying to make

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changes we’ve gone about learning all about making
new habits stopping habits like what do we do here

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uh and so in a study researched researchers
discovered that willpower is a limited resource

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uh in Western culture it’s very common to talk
about willpower I I don’t know if that’s the

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common uh thing throughout the world but you
know this concept of willpower of internally

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being able to motivate myself to do whatever
it is I’m trying to do or stop doing that’s

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what we’re talking about here so it says if you
try this process again this process of losing

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weight right most likely you’ll end up in the
same place adding more guilt and shame to your

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struggle and this eventually leads you to make
statements like I always screw up maybe you call

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yourself a loser or a failure in your head and you
start talking negatively to yourself in verse 24

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of Romans 7 it looks like it says Paul slipped
into the same shame cycle when he cried out in

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Romans 7. oh what a miserable person I am and
it’s important for us to realize that willpower

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just doesn’t work uh like I said just a second
ago or a minute ago it it’s very limited and

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it’s very unpredictable willpower and with
Paul’s next words uh Paul asked the tortured

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question who will free me from this life that
is dominated by sin and death like you know you

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may say Paul’s being a little over dramatic but
really you can see the struggle he’s going through

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so we have uh exercise for this section it says
as you work through this exercise consider the

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progression after feeling stuck long enough we
can feel dead after we feel dead long enough we

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can feel shame after we feel shame we give in
and give up so there’s the progression and it

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says be honest about the depth of any places where
you feel that things can’t change this is where

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it really applies to our brain health or mental
health is let’s be honest about these areas and

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think about this it says uh what about places
in my life where I feel stuck so it gives us

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this topic gives us a blank to kind of fill in uh
next item is places in my life where I feel dead

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uh that’s the second one and then third we
have places in my life where I feel shame

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so the first progression is maybe we feel stuck
in something we’re trying to change that goes

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on long enough and we start to feel dead like
we can’t affect change and then third as we

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start to feel this shame internally and this
shame is where a lot of uh negative thought

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patterns arise of really talking to ourselves
in a way we would never talk to other people

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uh the principle for this section is you think
you can but you can’t that passage of scripture

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is Romans 7 21-23 of the New Living Translation
says I have discovered this principle of life that

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when I want to do what is right I inevitably do
what is wrong I love God’s law with all my heart

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but there is another power within me that is
at war with my mind the power makes me a slave

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to the sin that is still within me that’s all
for this episode thank you for watching if you

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